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Don’t try this at home.

By Dan Gartland
July 23, 2019

Don’t try this at home

The Irish call it turf; everywhere else it’s known as peat. It’s a sort of dense mud found all over Ireland that people there burn in stoves to keep warm in the winter. Whatever you call it, it probably doesn’t taste very good—unless you’re a young Shane Lowry.

Lowry’s grandmother, Emily Scanlon, told an embarrassing story to RTÉ Sport about the Open Champion’s dietary habits as a young lad. Apparently, Lowry couldn’t be left alone by the family’s stash of turf because he’d eat it.

Here’s a transcript, because her accent is thicker than the peat in County Offaly:

“He had a great upbringing. I remember I minded him while his mother was working when they were building a house in Ferbane. He was always on the go.

“I had a turf box in the corner beside the range, and when I went to the clothesline, I’d put them into it and he’d have all the turf mould ate.

“Whether it worked for his immune system or not, I don’t know, but he got there anyway.”

Granny Scanlon has become quite the star in the Irish media since Lowry’s triumphant victory on home soil this weekend. The ensuing celebration left her dealing with a serious hangover.

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Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)