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The NCAA strikes again. 

By Dan Gartland
August 08, 2019

The NCAA strikes again

The NCAA’s rules and regulations are infamously arcane. (My favorite is the old one restricting when cream cheese could be offered alongside bagels.) The Clemson athletic department self-reported 23 NCAA violations last school year and released the list to South Carolina newspaper The State on Wednesday. They include picayune nonsense like volleyball players getting a discount on tanning and coaches buying food for a recruit on the way to the airport. 

This, by the football team, is the one that takes the cake, though:

Oct. 17, 2018: Confetti was utilized by institutional staff during a photo shoot that took place during a prospective student-athlete’s official visit.

Could you believe? Confetti? During a recruiting visit?! Imagine the leg-up Clemson got on all the other schools that lack proper confetti technology. 

Yahoo speculates that this ostentatious display violated section 13.6.7.9 of the NCAA manual, which regulates activities during official recruiting visits. 

An institution may not arrange miscellaneous, personalized recruiting aids (e.g., personalized jerseys, personalized audio/video scoreboard presentations) and may not permit a prospective student-athlete to engage in any game-day simulations (e.g., running onto the field with the team during pregame introductions) during an official visit. Personalized recruiting aids include any decorative items and special additions to any location outside of athletics facilities the prospective student-athlete will visit (e.g., hotel room, dorm room, student union) regardless of whether the items include the prospective student-athlete’s name or picture. An institution may decorate common areas in athletics facilities (e.g., lobby, coach’s office, suite in arena) for an official visit, provided the decorations are not personalized and the common areas are not accessible or visible to the general public while decorated.

So if the confetti was used inside the football facility, that would have been fine. But if the recruit was showered with confetti while taking photos in front of the famed amphitheater or the lake on campus, that’s a big no-no. These are very important distinctions crucial to maintaining the sanctity of amateur athletics. 

Kirk Cousins doesn’t like his center’s sweaty butt

The Vikings drafted a center in the first round for the first time ever this year, selecting North Carolina State’s Garrett Bradbury. He’s taking over the starting job while last year’s starter, Pat Eflien, shifts over to guard. Quarterback Kirk Cousins is having a little trouble with the transition, though, because Bradbury’s butt is very sweaty. 

A transcript, via Deadspin:

“Well I’m gonna take it back to how much he sweats, again. He promises that it’s not a problem in games, and it remains to be seen because his shorts today were soaked. And, uh, he says it’s not a problem on gameday, so the moment of truth Friday night. But apparently, you know, when they keep those domes air-conditioned and you get a break on the bench and you sit with the cooling fans, I’m hoping that really helps. So that’s a big thing I’m gonna take away from Friday night, is how tough was it to grip the ball after he snaps it to me. Uh, if it is tough we might be in pistol and shotgun all year, which coach [Gary] Kubiak and Kevin [Stefanski] wouldn’t like very much.”

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Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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