'This Is Soft Porn!' FCC Gets 1,312 Complaints About J-Lo–Shakira Super Bowl Halftime Show: TRAINA THOUGHTS

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1. "The simulated patting of J Lo’s derrière is not for family television."

That was just one of 1,312 complaints that the FCC received from outraged viewers after Jennifer Lopez and Shakira performed at halftime of Super Bowl LIV.

Most of the people who bothered to email the FCC cited the same thing: THINK ABOUT THE KIDS. Apparently, the youth of America will no longer be the same after watching J-Lo and Shakira dance around in skimpy outfits. 

One of the interesting things about the complaints, though, is the great detail some people provided. It was almost as if they'd rather intently watch the entire thing than change the channel. Hmm ... 

Here is a random sampling of some of the more amusing emails that angry people fired off to the FCC.

• I never knew showing the abdomen area was considered indecent, but this person was fired up about it.

"The 2020 Super Bowl Half Time Show contained indecent, sexual, and risqué content that was unsuitable for all viewers especially young viewers. The performers exposed areas of the lower buttocks, abdomen, and cleavage. This content was clearly obscene, and should not have been broadcast. I believe FOX should be subject to regulatory penalties for broadcasting obscene content not suitable for public viewing."

• According to this person, not one woman in the entire world enjoyed the halftime show.

"The halftime show was totally inappropriate for the millions of young kids watching a football game. It was disgusting, except to maybe men. Women and children watch football, and this was awful. Get some class."

• This person paid VERY CLOSE attention to detail.

"Around 8 pm EST, I witnessed numerous crotch shots with so little fabric covering that a clinch would have made it indistinguishable from a pure crack. Leather pants fully exposing butt cheeks, pole dancing, twerking, simulated orgies, and sexual gyrations, crotch grabs, and pelvic thrusts were all in front of my family and friends with preschoolers and elementary age students. We were watching an NFL football game, not HBO. Are thongs and assless chaps considered appropriate attire before 10 pm on network television now? At a minimum censor bars and blurs should have been required."

• O.K., this person has a legit point. I would think most of you reading this don't want football mixed in with your porn.

"Who ever green lit that display of crotch shots and too much skin exposed along with stripper poles and S&M outfits should be fired. It’s 8:30PM, kids are still up watching the game. What the hell? I’m sure that there are lots of parents explaining that’s not really how one should behave in public. Is this really what we can expect? I’m out. I don’t watch porn and don’t want it mixed up with football. Boooo."

• Again, someone who paid very close attention to detail 

"I don't understand how it is appropriate for Jennifer Lopez's ass to be in the faces of my children during the Superbowl halftime show. What is wrong with FOX and the NFL and frankly, the FCC for allowing this? JLo was not only wearing a thong but bent over and showed her whole butt to the camera. Also, FOX cameramen kept zooming in on her crotch throughout her performance AND at one point her backup dancers were simulating an orgy while she writhed around on a stripper pole. How is this family programming in prime time? If that doesn't violate standards of decency then there are no standards of decency. You should investigate and fine Fox for this."

• I'm posting the complaint below only because after 10 years of writing a daily column for SI.com, I am now publishing a piece with the phrase "back door style sex" in it.

"I was disgusted by the Super Bowl half time show. I was looking forward to being entertained, instead i was subjected to close up shots of J. Lopez's crotch and buttocks along with some pseudo S and M and back door style sex. Kids watched this show. What are we teaching them by mainstreaming this garbage?"

• This person is so not boycotting the NFL.

"That was a disgusting display allowed of something that our children can't un see!!! This is soft porn! Fine the NFL or stop the HALFTIME shows! Beyond INAPPROPRIATE!!! Honoring a dog killer now THIS! BOYCOTTING THE NFL!!!"

There are 1,305 other complaints just like these, so if you need a good laugh and want to kill some time while at work, you can go through them here.

2. Sports Illustrated senior writer Tom Verducci joined the latest episode of the SI Media Podcast to discuss a variety of issues. Verducci broke down why the Astros' controversy will continue throughout the entire season. I asked Verducci if the scandal was good in any way, shape or form for a game that lacks buzz, and his answer was quite interesting. Verducci also made a case for the proposed playoff format and explained why he's all in on a potential selection show. Other topics discussed on the podcast was MLB's marketing issues when it comes to video, whether the Hall of Fame selection process needs tinkering, Derek Jeter falling one vote shy of unanimous enshrinement, whether Barry Bonds will ever enter the HOF, and the A's not having a local radio deal.

You can listen to the podcast below or download it on Apple, Spotify, Stitcher and Google Play.

3. LeBron James, at 35 years old, poured in a season-high 40 points, grabbed eight rebounds and dished out six assists in the Lakers' 118-109 win against the Pelicans on Tuesday night. He also did this:

Then he ate some Red Vines on the bench, even though Twizzlers are better.

4. Let's all give the Bucks social media team a round of applause for this tweet after Milwaukee beat Toronto 108-97 on Tuesday.

5. Ben Bartch is a D-III offensive lineman who is ready to show what he's got at the NFL Scouting Combine this week. The man deserves a job just based on the torture—detailed in the tweet below—he put himself through to bulk up.

6. One year ago Tuesday, WWE superstar Roman Reigns returned to Monday Night Raw after dealing with leukemia to announce he was in remission.

7. RANDOM YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE DAY: We're coming up on the 30th anniversary of what might have been the greatest contract-signing segment in WWF history.

Be sure to catch up on past editions of Traina Thoughts and check out the Sports Illustrated Media Podcast hosted by Jimmy Traina on iTunes, Spotify or Stitcher. You can also follow Jimmy on Twitter and Instagram.