Cowboys DC Mike Nolan Forced to Halt Press Conference After Rubbing Hot Sauce in Eye

In Tuesday’s Hot Clicks: Tabasco sauce accomplishes what the Cowboys’ defense can’t, Johnny Hekker’s punting highlight reel and more.
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That’s the first time he’s been responsible for a stop this season

As bad as the NFC East is this year, the Cowboys’ defense may be the worst unit in the division. Thus far, they’ve allowed a league-high 243 points in seven games. That’s nearly 35 points per game. They’re allowing 408.1 total yards per game (sixth worst in the league), 178.3 rushing yards per game (worst in the league by a wide margin) and have forced only three turnovers (tied for fewest in the league). 

All year long, defensive coordinator Mike Nolan hasn’t been able to dial up a stop to save his life, but on Monday afternoon he had the improbable stop of the season. Nolan was forced to walk out of his conference call with the media after he rubbed hot sauce in his eye. 

If that—a sudden, unexpected sensation of searing pain caused by a combination of sloppiness and negligence—doesn’t describe the experience of being a Cowboys fan in 2020, I don’t know what does.

Nolan was eventually able to return to the podium after the burning sensation went away. 

He’s lucky it was Tabasco, which is mostly vinegar, and not a more chili-pepper-based sauce like sriracha. It’s the capsaicin in peppers that’s really difficult to get out of your eyes. (The trick is to use milk, because capsaicin is fat-soluble.) 

If he’d watched the hit YouTube series Hot Ones, Nolan would know you’re never supposed to touch your eyes after eating something with hot sauce. You’re supposed to avoid touching your face these days anyway, so the hot sauce is just an extra incentive to keep your hands away from there. 

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