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That is way too much hand sanitizer for one person.

By Jon Tayler
October 03, 2017

In case you missed the news on Monday, Derek Jeter is now the official owner of the Marlins, complete with boilerplate PR piece on his own website loaded with clichéd ideas about Commitment and Responsibility (but sadly not RE2PECT). And in case you were wondering what it would look like once Jeter took over as the big man, he made it clear with this tweet on Tuesday, showcasing a "new era" of Miami baseball that looks awfully like an underfurnished office in desperate need of an interior decorator.

There's a lot to take in here. The gigantic hand sanitizer dispenser suggests Jeter's got a bit of a germ phobia, which really raises my hopes that he slowly transforms into a Howard Hughes-esque figure who becomes a lunatic recluse and stops cutting his hair or fingernails. I think there's a beeper behind Jeter to the left, which doesn't exactly scream "new era" in any way, shape or form. But honestly, I'm impressed that Jeets has already mastered the advanced office tactic of having multiple screens and devices up so you look that much busier—though why you would need two iPads is beyond me.

My suggestion for Jeter if he wants to look more like boss material: Reach out to a former teammate to get some tips on how to stage a work picture for social media. A-Rod has got this down pat.

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