Dear Coach Kyle
It’s time for you and I to have a heart to heart talk. Since you are a famous NFL football coach and I am a lowly fledgling journalist who lacks even a press credential, I will be facilitating this heart to heart via this public letter in a venerable sports publication.
Why am I taking the time from my life to write you a letter, Kyle? Well, you and I have been thrust into a relationship that was not of my choosing since you were hired to coach the NFL Franchise of which I am a fan. Mind you when it first happened I was overjoyed. After the comedic disasters that were Jim T and Chip K, you seemed on paper like a supreme upgrade and in many ways you were (and have been since).
But as we all know, the true dynamic in a relationship can only be revealed by a force as unrelenting as Nick Bosa. To wit: Time. Yes Time, that great exposer, the heartless wrecking ball which thunders into the side of our facades relentlessly. First there are dings, then cracks begin to form and soon, unless truly well crafted, the whole thing starts to come down, revealing to the outside world everything that is hidden within.
So here we are in Year 5 of your purported minimum 6 years in this relationship and I have to say, there is a pretty big pile of crap in the front street that has crumbled off the exterior of your schtick and we can see you now like a Barbie in her open-faced playhouse.
There are so many angles I considered for this article. Should I discuss your recent scheme deficiencies? The abysmal losing record? The ever-present star-player injuries? Perhaps the wasted draft picks? The unnecessarily bloated contracts? The preferential treatment of your personal draft crushes? The Dog House where players drafted in spite of you always seem to mysteriously end up? Each of these has their own article inside of them waiting to be discussed and in fact thousands of articles have been written over the years about all of the above.
So, what do I have to share with the public about you that has not been written about as much?
Simply put, Pal, it is your Attitude. Even this less-discussed topic has a bunch of different sub-threads and in many cases is the root cause of a number of the problems mentioned above.
Ironically to the point of this writing, the ways that I know you are all public and mostly via the journalistic efforts of my peers. I have read your words. I have watched you in film from practice as well as on the sidelines in games and of course, (and perhaps most relevantly), in press conferences.
Thus, I fully admit I do not know you personally, and all of my knowledge about you is 2nd, 3rd or Twitterhand information as opposed to from personal experience. However, this is not a personal relationship we have. The Fan~Coach and Journalist~Coach relationships are both highly professional in nature.
In the first case it is the Job of The Coach to provide the fan with entertainment, (ideally) by winning games but also by making losses competitive. Never forget that for all of it’s gravitas, bravado and branding, the NFL is, at its deep core, Entertainment for The Masses. This is enhanced and magnified greatly in our current Era of Rewatching, where games are not only consumed on Sunday but Re-consumed 7 days a week in some form or another.
In return, we Fans give you and the franchise our focus, our encouragement and that most coveted of transactional endorsements: Our Money.
In the second relationship, that of Journalist to Coach, is the Journalist’s Job to cover the Coach. This means that they observe the coach in any and all available formats and most importantly for a select group of newsfolk, they are the privileged few who get to be with you in person and actually ask questions. This conduit of information represents the most direct link between the public and the coach. The journalist at a presser is in fact a representative of more than just their publishing entity, they are there on behalf of The People. The Fans.
The Coach’s job in this dynamic is to inform the journalist in a fashion that does not provide their opponents with strategically useful information. Ideally as a sub-thread of this, since these pressers are both recorded and reported about extensively, their job is to deliver this information in an entertaining fashion. There are, as we have seen over the long years of NFL pressers, a wide variety of established styles with which to accomplish both of these goals.
I understand, Kyle, that your job must be vexing in so many ways, not the least of which is trying to do it in an Epoch of Hyper-Information. You are not just trying to entertain fans who plop down on Sunday after reading a few articles in papers over the week. You are faced instead with a relentlessly informed public who have access to the kind of data that even coaches didn’t have back in your Dad’s coaching days.
These GigaFans then take this information, accurate or not, sometimes both, and discuss it ad nauseum, spending so many hours on this activity that if we traded all that time in for volunteer work instead we could make paradise on earth but hey we are humans, we have odd priorities.
Being an NFL Coach circa 2021 is further complicated by the fact that the journalists who cover you and ask you questions in pressers are not just writing a few articles a week, based mostly on interviews with staff and players. These days every reporter has a Social Media presence across multiple platforms. This provides them with a never-ending stream of content information while simultaneously allowing them to post “micro-articles” in the form of Tweets & Grams all day long. They also post longer form video reports via that most impactful of new mediums: The YouTube Stream. Film Study, Twitch Streams, Live Chats and probably a few new mediums that I am not even hip to as a Gen Xer, all contribute to this orgy of analysis.
Again, as a compassionate person, I feel for you, Coach Kyle. It’s gotten out of hand one might say. Some of these Journalists are going on YouTube multiple times a day to discuss your team and your job as The Coach. They even form reporter packs and sub-packs, coming together in little brady-bunch panels whose faces seem to shift more times per week than The Hollywood Squares.
Thus it goes on and on in a grind that never seems to stop talking, pontificating, bloviating, dissecting, and judging you. I am literally doing it as I write and anyone reading this is participating in the circus of Shanalyitcs as well.
While that cannot be fun, it does not relieve you of your responsibilities as a Coach and entertainment director. We, the fans, need you to honestly and entertainingly engage our journalist representatives so as to provide us with greater insight, thereby enhancing all the other ways that we engage your Team.
The flip side of having to endure all this extra scrutiny is you have an absurd level of mental and emotional real estate in your fan base’s lives. When properly managed, this is a Golden Age for Football where fan engagement is at unprecedented levels. I invite you to get into this part of the game, Kyle. It will benefit everyone.
With all that in mind, let us return to the topic of your attitude. No human is perfect, we all have our personality quirks and while we can grow and change, there are many indelible elements to any given human character. I studied acting in college however so I know for a fact that humans have long-standing systems and methods for being able to subsume one’s true emotions in the name of acting.
So when I see you come to a press conference and give off the same attitude I see my 13 year old niece giving to her dad about finishing her homework, I KNOW you do not have to act that way. I am cognizant that you are choosing to do so or at a minimum making no effort to act differently.
What are the markers of your poor attitude as I see them? Allow me to provide you with a convenient list:
1- Wearing a hat with a large brim that hides your eyes. We can’t see your feet behind the podium but the hat makes you look like you are shuffling them while being called on the mat by the principal. Sure, wear hats if you like, but tilt your head up and face us with strength and verve, Sir.
2- The mumble volume of your voice. Project your confidence and excitement, Sir Coach. Again, especially with the Hat you seem recalcitrant and glum.
3- The TONE of your voice. Tone often says more than one's words. Style vs. Content Kyle.
Get a speaking coach or something. Use the resources at your disposal and be better at entertaining us while you edify please.
4- The WAY in which you choose not to answer questions. All coaches play cat and mouse with the press. However, there are many better ways to do so than the petulance you display. Again, style vs. content. What do you gain with this reluctant style we observe you employ so often?
5- Lastly, all coaches have journalists that they relate to more so than others. Often there can even be a contentious dynamic as well. However, just like you place some players in The Bananahan Dog House, you also try to sandbox certain journalists by discrediting their questions with pithy non-answers that are less designed to protect the secrets of the franchise and more so crafted with the intent of getting back at a mean kid who picked on you on YouTube. In doing so, you do a disservice to The Fans.
We only have to reach back to fairly recent history for a glaring reminder that there are far more mature, entertaining and engaging ways to speak to the press while not giving away secrets. Perhaps the best part of the Coach Harbaugh Era (other than the explosion of Kaepernick and The Pick Six at The Stick) were his press conferences. Coach H was an artiste when it came to this game. He would deploy philosophers' wisdom and dispense Bo Shembechler quotes. He would get a twinkle in his eye when asked a tough question, not duck under his hat bill and mumble.
Where is YOUR “Enthusiasm unknown to mankind,” Kyle? We are not seeing it.
I politely suggest you do some presser film study of Coach Harbaugh, Coach Kyle. After all, if you are not working at getting better, you are slacking at getting worse.
The attitude you display in press conferences is not just revealing about you with regards to the press. As it is the most direct way we see you, it is not hard to infer that this attitude shows up in other places. Are you this petulant in meetings with John Lynch? Sure seemed like it in the press conference about the Trey Lance draft pick.
Do you adopt this pithy tone when you interact with players, especially ones who were drafted in spite of rather than because of your opinion? Certainly seemed to be the case when one looks at the first series of plays you chose for your rookie quarterback in his first start. Not only were those plays unhelpful, they were so blatantly crafted to show you were right about the draft choice made by your organization. Even afterwards you could hardly find a nice word to say about him and once again, your tone said it all.
Of course, it’s long been established that our external expressions are representative of internal emotional states. Unless, as noted above, you are a good actor, which, also noted above, you are not, otherwise, why would you choose to act in such a rude fashion?
Knowing what we know, we can hardly blame you for feeling downtrodden, put upon and misunderstood. The gulf between the potential we saw when you came aboard and the way the 4.25 seasons have gone since would clearly make anyone feel bummed. Especially if you, Kyle, are walking around, in true teenager style, feeling like the problems are with everyone and everything else except YOU.
Which brings me to another utterly disrespectful and sad thing you do in press conferences. You frequently and publicly put down your players while deflecting blame from yourself. You seem to delight in withholding praise as if you are some 1950s Dad in a bad sitcom. You ALWAYS place the blame for losses on a litany of reasons that are never rooted in you, your decisions or your style of coaching. Here is a list for you to review:
What set me off today in writing this article was yet another example of your poor attitude and style as a coach and person. When asked why your team has failed to score at all in the first halves of the last few games you replied: “That is a very broad question.” And that was that.
There was no valid reason to answer that way. It revealed a lack of courage on top of demonstrating that once again you were not prepared to discuss your culpability related to the lack of success by the team you coach.
The real answer to that question, offered by someone aware of the full scope of their job, would have sounded something like this:
“Well, G, thanks for asking that, it’s a tough question but fair. As Head Coach, I would have to say that lack of scoring any points falls on me. I have not put the players in the correct position with my scheme. Additionally, there have been a few suspect decisions made by me, especially as regards clock management, use of punters to kick field goals and going for it far too often on 4th down. These are all things that I will take a look at systemically as they all need work. So I am hopeful for the future and you can expect to see improvement the next time we take the field.”
See, Kyle? I didn’t give away any state secrets there. My version was humble and took responsibility for just a few of the mistakes that I (you) made and I spoke to how I (you) planned on working for improvement. This isn’t really challenging. It just seems that for some reason you like to make it difficult, both on field and off.
So here is what I think as we go forward. I am tired of your attitude and behavior recently. I would like to formally request that you treat our Beloved Franchise with more respect and enthusiasm. I hope that you can be more forthright and downright entertaining with the press and I truly hope you can somehow, maybe even after reading this heartfelt letter, change your internal emotional state.
Realize that you ARE empowered. You are SO lucky and in theory your character should be walking around on air thinking “OMG I am THE COACH of THE 49ers”. Instead, you have been brittle and caustic from the snap and seem to have deteriorated rapidly ever since you lost your 2nd Super Bowl in the 4th quarter.
You occupy a place of power. Your style and attitude matter. The fish stinks from the head they like to say in Start-up world when talking about CEOs. You are the CEO of the players, Kyle. You are The Captain at the helm of the Good Ship Niner. The rest of us are just on deck or on shore watching you wondering if you are ever going to put down the lash and break out the rum. Try having some fun, brother. There be a red and gold treasure chest on the beach of the playoffs if you can just rally your crew to hew to the focus and vigor levels required to get back to the big game someday.
Having a better style and attitude will not only help you guide the team in a more uplifting fashion, it will help you hew more closely to your job as Director of The SF 49ers Show. A show we are all watching, Kyle. Almost every day.
Let’s have a little more "I can't guarantee that anybody in the world will be alive Sunday so I can't guarantee who will be on our roster on Sunday," from you. I know it’s in there!
Let’s try to avoid missing the playoffs, having Jed fire you or John (or both) or worse having you stay on in a job you don’t act like you much want anymore, hindering the future development of a potential franchise QB. You know you have some joy left inside of you, some humility, some deeper sense of focus. Exercise them while recognizing your extreme privilege.
If you don’t FEEL particularly warm and encouraging, then figure out how to ACT like you feel those things. Embrace those who challenge you, from my writing all these words, to the questions you get from the press and even the subtle feelings that must be emanating from your locker room with 3 losses already, 2 hurt QBs and a whole lotta splainin' to do to everyone about going for five 4th downs in one game.
As I start to wind down, I wonder if you ever try to scheme up your job? Have you ever looked at what you do like a play (theatrical double entendre fully intended)? If you objectively observe what your character is serving on the various stages where we see you, do you feel it is the best possible style to adopt? Are there improvements possible, even this (relatively) later in life when your character is so set in his ways?
I would say that you very well could do this life-scheme exercise and learn from it. Be dynamic, adopt new styles and, in the words of that wise philosopher-sage, Michael Scott:
“Adapt react readapt apt”
When you first came to town, I was personally thrilled, as were many/most 49ers fans. We felt so deeply as if our beloved franchise was again getting the caliber of coach we needed to take us back to our heights of former glory. We cheered you when you came to town and we have stood by you through SO many wild times good, bad and middling.
All throughout these 5 seasons the fans have largely supported you as we clung to the hope that we had not been bamboozled by The Universe again. Even in the face of the past few years when things have looked ever bleaker, you kept getting a wide margin when it came to criticism.
To respond to this with a reticent attitude is just doing a disservice to the fans. Now, as our patience wears thin on both the collective and individual levels, I am reaching out to you with this letter in order to hope that we can reclaim the magic. While it’s difficult to regain that, especially in light of what you have done to our sense of being able to trust your judgement, all, as they say, is not yet lost.
Perhaps a great place to start is in your own heart where you can try to find some warmth to shine through the otherwise kinda grinchy vibe you have been putting off. As the Wizard of Oz taught us, having brains with no heart or courage makes you not really that bright after all.
You are bright though, Kyle. You know it. You can still pull this off and ride into the sunset as one of the greatest coaches in 49ers history. While you still have the remains of our good-will and the shreds of our hope, pivot to a new you and be warm, humble and respectful in your attitude, Sir.
~Sent with hope and appreciation leavened with a bit of disdain and disappointment
~~Ev
