Ranking XFL Team Names and Logos From Worst to Even Worse
The XFL should go back to the drawing board.
But since that likely won't happen, let's just get these jokes off about the team names and logos that were unveiled Wednesday.
If you haven't seen them, you should probably just click off this story now because we already got the click and it will honestly make your day better if you don't see these atrocities. But if you already did look at those corny-ass names and trash-ass logos or just want to make your day objectively worse by looking at them now, please join me in a ranking of these sad, sad excuses for team names and logos.
God-awful - Tampa Bay Vipers
Of all the names, this is the one that sucks the least. In fact, it's actually decent.
People love to make venomous snakes seem even cooler than they really are and Vipers is a swift enough nickname that it can actually sound respectable to people. The logo, however, is straight out of Microsoft Paint and is making my eyes bleed.
Good God, Why Was This Allowed? - Dallas Renegades
From the video to the logo, the XFL people behind team names and logos really thought they did something great with this. They couldn't have been any more wrong. Get this trash away from me forever.
BOOOOOOOOOOO! - D.C. Defenders
Who are those lightning bolts in the logo for? It feels like their trying to go for a superhero thing but then realized D.C. Avengers would make comic book fans storm the offices in protest. So, Defenders kinda sounds like Avengers and that's how they decided on the name. Or maybe they're supposed to be like patriots and defenders of the United States?
Either way, the logo makes me feel uncomfortable.
What Does This Mean? - New York Guardians
Why is the logo some sort of jungle cat with pharaoh headgear? I'm not even wasting any more brain cells trying to figure this out.
No! Take It Back! - Seattle Dragons
When I saw the team name Dragons, this horrible NCAA Football 14 create your high school for Road to Glory logo was the first thing that popped into my head. I was sure this would be the logo for the Seattle squad and I've haven't been this upset that I ended up being right since Nov. 8, 2016.
Trash!!!!!! - St. Louis BattleHawks
Nope.
Throw it all away and then restart. Then throw that second idea away and then we can start from scratch again and maybe we won't have to put the last idea in the garbage too.
A sword with wings?
This was the worst idea since they decided to make the last season of Game of Thrones six episodes.
I Hope You Get Sued - Houston Roughnecks
Where have I seen that logo before?
Yup. That's it.
The Actual Worst. Absolute Hot Garbage - Los Angeles Wildcats
As somebody who went to a college with sports teams named the Wildcats, I can say without a doubt in my mind that any pro team named the Wildcats should be mocked until there's no tomorrow.
And that logo? Could you have mailed it in any harder? This makes the Clippers logo look good and the Clippers logo was the worst one in pro sports before today.
