Adidas' March Madness Jerseys Are Really ... Something

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adidas via Yahoo!

Six Adidas flagship programs are expected to wear these jerseys in March

Now you know who to root against come March Madness.

Adidas unveiled their AdiZero March Madness jerseys Thursday (probably named for the amount of fashion sense that went into their design) which will be worn by Cincinnati, Kansas, Notre Dame, Baylor, UCLA and Louisville in the postseason.

For the sake of the viewing public's retinas, the sooner they’re sent packing from the tournament the better.

Forget the fact that viewed side by side they look like the neon rainbow from hell, you see those shorts? Adidas officially calls that camouflage. Presumably the blue ones are very useful if you’re trying to hide in a swimming pool. The rest end up looking like some trippy optical illusion. Fun fact: if you blur your eyes and stare deeply at the Bearcats’ shorts, a 3D spaceship appears.

As for the jerseys, the Cardinals, Bruins and Bears drew the short straw (has the term ever been more relative?) with the short sleeves that provide all the awkwardness of the T-shirt look without any of the comfort of, you know, an actual T-shirt. On the bright side (oh so bright) Notre Dame and Baylor now find themselves with new potential sponsorships from Doublemint gum and Hi-Liter.

Suffice to say these six easily stand toe to toe with some of the most hideous athlete uniforms of all time. Here’s the pantheon of repulsion so you can decide for yourself:

Pittsburgh Pirates, 1999: These shirts with a giant snarling Buccaneer head were, mercifully, a one night only deal.

AP

AP
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Florida Everblades, 2010: Special holiday uniforms are a bad idea, especially when they’re half margarita green and half horrible Christmas card.

naplesnews.com

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Maryland Terrapins, 2011: Two-Face debuted his new line of football uniforms with this well-intentioned but schizophrenic get-up.

Cal Sport Media

Maryland Terrapins Ugly Football Uniform
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Croatia, 2012: If your shirt can double as a picnic blanket, like these at Euro 2012, it’s time for a redesign.

EPA

Croatia Euro 2012 ugly kits
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Anaheim Ducks, ’95-‘96: It’s bad enough to have a cartoon duck on your jersey, much less one that looks like a cross between Donald Duck and Jason Voorhees.

via Canucks Forum

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Australia Track and Field, 2012 Olympics: As if track and field uniforms aren’t revealing enough already.

Getty Images

Australia Track and Field ugly uniforms