Even when the NFL does something good, it's still hard to stomach.
The league announced new celebration rules on Tuesday. The fact that celebration rules have been so controversial for one sports league tells you how poorly run said league is.
The first sentence of the NFL.com story on this development: "The NFL is putting the fun back in football."
No, no, no. The NFL does not get credit for this. The NFL caused this mess by instituting ridiculous celebration penalties so that it could turn players into robots. Now the league wants a pat on the back for "putting the fun back?" Absolutely not. You're just partially correcting a wrong YOU made. You don't get to take bows for that.
The NFL.com story goes on to say, "In a letter to fans from Commissioner Roger Goodell, the NFL said it wants to allow players 'more room to have fun after they make big plays.'"
This is the pandering part of the show. See, the NFL wants you to think the league and its unlikable commissioner really like you because they sent you a letter! How personal. How genuine. How authentic. That loveable Roger didn't just issue a statement or put out a press release to the media. He wrote you, the die-hard NFL fan, a sweet, personal letter!
Next line via NFL.com: "Goodell spoke with more than 80 current and former NFL players about relaxing the rules on celebrations."
Yes, a grown man running a $13 billion company needed to speak to EIGHTY people about players dancing. Does the league understand how warped that sounds? Could you possibly take yourself more seriously?
The insanity continued with Goodell explaining that using a football for a prop is okay, celebrating on the ground is fine and group demonstrations are good to go.
However, Goodell made sure to still wag his finger at everyone, explaining that there are still plenty of restrictions on how players can show emotion.
"Offensive demonstrations, celebrations that are prolonged and delay the game, and celebrations directed at an opponent, will still be penalized, the letter said, in order continue "sportsmanship, clean competition, and setting good examples for young athletes."
Ah, yes. Think of the children. How on earth can the youth of America possibly grown up to be upstanding citizens if they see Antonio Brown twerk?
Of course, the league didn't seem to have problems with any of these celebration issues when it came to getting page views for NFL.com.
Don't be shocked, but the league's very own website features a video titled, "Top 10 touchdown celebrations of all time." Among those on the list: Rams Bob 'N Weave, Redskins' Fun Bunch, Falcons' Dirty Bird and Deion Sanders' High-Step and Dance. All of these would've generated a penalty flag last season, yet, they were just fine for a video compilation on NFL.com.