Traina Thoughts: ESPN Just Hired Jeff Triplette to Be a Rules Analyst and, No, You Are Not Reading an 'Onion' Headline

Somehow, Jeff Triplette will be a rules analyst for ESPN's 'Monday Night Football.'

1. I don't want to be mean. I swear, I don't. But today is one of those days where it can't be avoided, but it's nothing personal. I'm sure Jeff Triplette is a very nice man. He is a retired Army Reserve colonel, so he deserves nothing but our respect.

However, I have to write about sports media and I have to be honest, so it's time to let it fly. ESPN has reportedly hired Jeff Triplette to be a rules analyst for Monday Night Football and the only reaction is WHAT THE FILL IN THE BLANK?!?!?

Triplette, who retired after last season, was not only a brutal referee, but he couldn't form coherent sentences. Yet, someone at ESPN thought, "WE MUST HIRE THIS MAN!" It's a truly mind-boggling move on every level.

Full disclosure: Sources have told SI.com that Triplette's role will be more behind the scenes to support the Monday Night Football crew, but he will be on air when necessary. From the standpoint that I need content to write about Monday through Friday for SI.com, I love this because I'm sure each Tuesday morning, we'll be treated to funny videos of Triplette from the night before, but this still makes little sense.

If you'd like to relive some of Triplette's greatest hits:

Twitter was just as confused by the hire as yours truly.

Now, in the interest of fairness, everyone should give Triplette a chance. Maybe refereeing wasn't his thing and TV is? Who knows? But this is truly a head scratcher.

2. The newest episode of the SI Media Podcast is out and it features an interview with gambling guru, Todd Fuhrman. The former Caesar's Palace oddsmaker and current co-host of SI TV's "The Line," explains how those complicated World Cup soccer lines work, reveals the best and worst things about sports betting becomiong legalized, breaks down what the Golden Knights did to Vegas sportsbooks and talked about how and why tout servies still exist. You can listen to the podcast below or download it on iTunes. 

3. The Phillie Phanatic almost blinded this poor woman when he shot a hot dog into the crowd during Monday's game. Luckily for him, Kathy McVay is a great sport about the ridiculous incident.

4. We told you Thursday that Rockets fans were leaving horrible, one-star reviews on Yelp! for Ayesha Curry's new Houston restaurant that hasn't even opened yet. Her husband has her back, though.

5. Jimmy Fallon and several guys who will be drafted in Thursday's NBA draft teamed up to make a very solid '90s sitcom opening.

6. Move over, Kyrie "Flat Earth" Irving. Miami guard Lonnie Walker, who will be drafted tonight, doesn't believe the story that Adolf Hilter committed suicide.

7. RANDOM WRESTLING VIDEO OF THE DAY: Next week. The SI Media Podcast. This guy. Subscribe now so you don't miss it.

Traina Thoughts is the best of the Internet, plus musings by SI.com writer, Jimmy Traina. Get the link to a new Traina's Thoughts each day by following on Twitter and liking on Facebook. Catch up on previous editions of Traina Thoughts right here.And make sure to listen to and subscribe to the SI Media Podcast hosted by Jimmy Traina.

IN CLOSING: Traina Thoughts is taking a very mini-vacation, so we will be dark on Friday and Monday. I'll be back with you on Tuesday. Enjoy your weekend.