This ain’t it, chief.
I don’t think this is going to work
I didn’t expect to be leading this column twice in three days with Jay Glazer, but his idea for fixing the NFL is too absurd not to mention.
Everyone can agree that NFL officiating is a mess. Part of what made the controversial no-call on Rams’ Nickell Robey-Coleman during the NFC Championship Game in New Orleans so frustrating is that it wasn’t exactly surprising. We’re used to seeing teams get screwed, whether by gross negligence or an overly cumbersome rulebook.
Glazer, though, has figured out how to fix it. Fire everybody and replace them with troops. Seriously. Here’s what he wrote in a mailbag column for The Athletic:
Here is MY solution to the officiating problem, as off the wall and out of left field as it sounds, I truly believe in the craziness that I’m about to give you. Here’s the solution: change out the officiating department and hire all new officials, all combat veterans special operation backgrounds. Go hire a bunch of Navy SEALs, Marine Recon, Delta Force, those guys.
Think about it. They’ll be in the shape to be in better position. They literally can react faster than the rest of the world, even when bullets are flying. They can react quicker than anyone else when something happens on that field.
Also, coaches will be a little less inclined to rip into them out on the sidelines. It’s harder to go yell at a Navy SEAL if coaches are upset about a call. Again, their reaction time is better than everyone else’s.
That’s obviously ridiculous. While combat veterans surely have impressive reaction times, they’re certainly not superhuman. Even if they did have superhero-level reflexes, that’s hardly the most important part of being a referee. There’s a reason most NFL officials are lawyers during the week. The rulebook is more complicated than the Constitution.
Glazer’s idea is basically the same as this unforgettable tweet:
Glazer does good work for ex-military members with the Merging Vets & Players organization that he co-founded. I also doubt he seriously believes this, because he’s smart enough to realize it’s not a good idea (or even feasible, given the officials’ union) to fire every official at once. Remember what happened the last time NFL refs were replaced en masse? The only upside I see is that, with Ed Hochuli retired, the NFL’s zebras could use a little more muscle.
While you were sleeping, everyone thought Antonio Brown was going to the Bills
After months of trying to force his way out of Pittsburgh, it seemed late last night like Antonio Brown was headed to Buffalo.
But all through the night, various people threw cold water on the idea, mostly because it didn’t sound like Brown wanted to play for the Bills.
As the #Bills and #Steelers close in on a trade for Antonio Brown, one big question remains: Will AB go? He has said he wants a new contract and won't play if it's not by his rules. If Brown wants to blow this up, his weapon is saying he'll retire rather than play in Buffalo.— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) March 8, 2019
Then, less than eight hours after Ian Rapoport first reported a deal was close, Bills GM Brandon Beane said it wasn’t going to happen.
Any Buffalo fans who went to bed at a decent hour probably woke up having missed the whole thing.
Are you serious?
You don’t get to complain about a swing if it results in a hole-in-one. I’d say he hit it just fine.
The best of SI
Giants coach Pat Shurmur knew one quarterback at the NFL combine especially well—his son. ... The pleasant surprise of the Knicks’ season is a rookie who blocks shots like crazy. ... The mother of UCF’s Tacko Fall came all the way from Senegal to see him for the first time in seven years on senior night.
Around the sports world
A Manchester United fan was reportedly stabbed by a Paris cab driver who became upset at the fan singing after his team defeated PSG in heartbreaking fashion. ... Vince Carter, already 42, doesn’t want to retire until after next season. ... Cowboys defensive lineman David Irving did an Instagram live video where he appeared to smoke a blunt and said he was quitting the NFL. ... The Lakers are cutting back LeBron’s minutes now that the season is essentially lost. ... AAF co-founder Bill Polian says the league has discussed with the NFL the idea of loaning younger players to the start-up league. ... Prayers to Tom Seaver, who was diagnosed with dementia and is retreating from public life.
Mic’d up players are the best part of spring training
Amazing hair in the Minnesota state hockey tournament, as always
This story is too funny
A very personal foul
I love watching the world’s best golfers look like hackers
Never give up
How hard is it to stop a slap shot?
This is a cool sport I’ve never seen before
One of the kids from School of Rock was arrested for stealing guitars. ... A Tennessee man faces felony charges for putting his testicles in a woman’s salsa, but lawyers think that’s a little harsh. ... The pilot of a stranded Air Canada flight ordered 23 pizzas to be delivered to the tarmac.
The perfect crime
Here's the story:@NOPDnews is seeking: Tyrone Hamburg.— New Orleans Advocate (@theadvocateno) March 7, 2019
Why? The 26-year-old allegedly wore a Waffle House uniform, posing as a worker. He took orders and even cooked food for guests before allegedly stealing $300 from the cash register and leaving. More: https://t.co/Cf1dYzaJlG pic.twitter.com/Dr2PWrk5iG
When you try to play Tony Hawk with your car
Brockmire Season 3 trailer
A good song
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