Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images

They weren’t saying “Bruuuuuuuce.”

By Dan Gartland
May 16, 2019

Not his best performance

The bad celebrity first pitch is nothing new or surprising. In fact, even former top MLB draft picks aren’t immune to the jitters that come with lobbing one in while standing in front of a massive crowd. But there’s one city where you really, really don’t want to do a bad job: Philadelphia. 

Bruce Willis, a Philly-area native, was at Citizens Bank Park last night to throw out the first pitch before the Phillies’ game against the Brewers. The 64-year-old short-armed it terribly and threw a one-hopper from about 55 feet—and the Philly fans really let him hear it. 

I see dead arms. 

But let’s not be too hard on Willis. As you can see at the end of the video, he also took batting practice with the Phillies earlier in the day and had some pretty solid knocks. I guess he’d make a better DH, then. 

Huge controversy in overtime

The Sharks took a 2–1 series lead on the Blues thanks to a major blown call on Erik Karlsson’s overtime game-winner

That’s a clear hand-pass by Timo Meier, but that’s not a reviewable aspect of the play. The replay crew in Toronto can’t (for some reason) wave off the goal by saying a hand-pass occurred in the offensive zone, it has to be one of the four officials on the ice who spots the illegal pass. Since no one did, the goal counted. 

Let me explain why this is an amazing celebration

The EFL Championship playoffs are going on right now in England to determine the final team that will be promoted to the Premier League for next season. It’s truly one of the most exciting and high-stakes tournaments in sports, with the final nicknamed “the world’s richest game” due to the nine-figure prize that comes along with going up to the Premier League. 

Leeds United and Derby County met yesterday in the second leg of their semifinal, with Derby securing a victory to advance to the final. After the match, the Derby players celebrated like this. 

If you know the backstory, this is hilarious. In fact, even just the backstory itself is hilarious. 

Leeds manager Marcelo Bielsa was fined £200,000 earlier this season for illegally spying on opponents by sending people to watch their practices. Rather than fight the accusations, Bielsa made a PowerPoint presentation in which he admitted that he spied on every team he played.

And not only was Derby the club that exposed the scheme, it was also the team that sent Leeds packing. That deserves a mocking celebration. 

Please read Chris Long’s Game of Thrones recap

If only you had any idea how hard Chris Long works on this. He was seriously agonizing over it since Monday morning, and Jimmy Traina had to meet him at his hotel to help him out yesterday before it was finally finished. As always, it’s fantastic. 

The best of SI

Khadrice Rollins totally predicted The Brook Lopez Game. ... The Jets are on their way back to being a laughingstock after they suddenly fired their GM. ... The biggest star in lacrosse decided to upend the whole sport and found his own league.

Around the sports world

One of the most popular places for Yankees Triple A players to live is above a funeral home. ... The photographer who captured that classic Kawhi Leonard photo explains his process. ... With the Grizzlies reportedly already deciding to Ja Morant, the top two picks in the NBA draft seem set. ... An Australian cricket player went into excruciating detail about the time he almost crapped himself on the field

Speaking of Leeds...

Pascal Siakam with the FEROCIOUS jam

Making it to the majors is hard. Like, physically making it.

Zion is already making money for the Pelicans

Not what you want

No one has played for more teams than Edwin Jackson

Cart. Cigarette. McDonald’s cup. Jon Daly is a legend. 

If you know, you know

(That’s ballhawk clown Zack Hample finally getting a taste of his own medicine.)

Tacko Fall is freakishly huge

Not everyone can be as smooth as Bartolo

Not sports

A highway in Indiana was shut down after a truck crashed and spilled 20 tons of honey. ... The food at this year’s Calgary Stampede will put any American state fair to shame. ... A trove of 1930s New York crime scene photos was recently discovered.

We’re going back to the moon?

Halle Berry’s training for John Wick: Chapter 3

Keanu Reeves is so zen

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)