Fake Crowds Are the Stupidest Part of Socially Distant Sports

In Thursday’s Hot Clicks: the idiocy of computer-generated crowds, the return of the Premier League and more.

We all know the seats are empty

I think everybody realizes that sports are going to look very weird on TV for a while (unless you’re watching a game in New Zealand). There won’t be any fans to celebrate big plays, jeer lousy referees or for the cameras to cut to for reaction shots. Broadcasters face the challenge of trying to present games in ways that aren’t totally alien to viewers. 

CBS is putting microphones on golfers during PGA Tour events. Some soccer leagues are experimenting with fake crowd noise, with decidedly mixed reviews. (For the Premier League’s return, games on TV had fake crowd noise but viewers streaming online had the option to listen to the natural stadium sound.)

Some leagues, though, are deploying fake crowds. Like, filling the stands with computer generated images. 

Spain’s La Liga was the first league to give it a try when play resumed over the weekend. It looked like crap!

Are the blotches of color even supposed to be fans? It looks like Claude Monet’s worst painting. 

The final of the Coppa Italia on Wednesday also employed a CGI crowd. It didn’t look any better. 

The computer generated crowd https://t.co/vveu6KubP6 pic.twitter.com/K4O0oKcC8F

— CJ Fogler account may or may not be notable (@cjzero) June 17, 2020

For some reason, the effect was applied only on wide shots. During any closeups, you could see all the empty seats. 

Fake crowds magically appearing. They are profoundly stupid pic.twitter.com/TRAKhIMnwb

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) June 17, 2020

The real reason for the fake crowd should have been obvious. The Coppa Italia used it as an ad for Coca-Cola. 

Coca-Cola is reportedly paying $5 million per season as the new sponsors of the Coppa Italia. In the first game under their new deal, Lega Serie A has created virtual supporters wearing red colors to match the Coke brand.

It cheapens the game and the cup. pic.twitter.com/12BuCLCqdn

— World Soccer Talk (@worldsoccertalk) June 17, 2020

Sports leagues are no doubt short on cash during this crisis, but there must be better ways to fill the gap than this. While fake crowd noise isn’t perfect, it can at least sometimes serve as white noise to prevent awkward silence from the broadcasters. Fake fans in the stands, on the other hand, are a total distraction. It makes the picture on the screen too busy. 

What’s the point, anyway (aside from the advertising potential)? Do they think the empty seats will be a distraction? Soccer games are already played in empty arenas occasionally due to disciplinary action. Fake crowds are just unnecessary. Let’s hope the trend doesn’t spread to the U.S. 

The best of SI

Allow me to plug the oral history of Michael Jordan’s retirement pickup games that I worked very hard on. ... MLB is getting closer to a deal with the players, because there’s no other option. ... How much did the Saints help the New Orleans Catholic Church with its growing sex-abuse scandal? More than they let on. ... What is the true purpose of the coronavirus waivers schools are forcing college athletes to sign?

Around the sports world

The goal line technology failed spectacularly in the Sheffield United–Aston Villa game. ... Former NHL star Pavel Datsyuk’s agent denied reports that he’s been “holed up” in a monastery with a conspiracy theory priest. ... A soccer team in Poland wore big question marks on their jerseys. ... An in-depth look at the logos for the Vegas Golden Knights’ new minor league team. 

Premier League teams took a knee right after the opening whistle

Aston Villa & Sheffield United players taking a knee when the whistle blows 👏 pic.twitter.com/KozTypaVLv

— Football Daily (@footballdaily) June 17, 2020

"A message seen all around the world." 🌍

Manchester City and Arsenal players take a knee before kick-off to show support for the #BlackLivesMatter movement. 👊 pic.twitter.com/IJcoMM9IRL

— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) June 17, 2020

David Luiz wishes the Premier League was still on break

Wilt was special

Here’s the photo of Wilt Chamberlain I was talking about. Imagine walking up to the starting blocks and looking over and seeing his legs?!

He also had a 500 pound benchpress! (considering his arm length, ridiculous)

He had the scoring record.

And he also played basketball. pic.twitter.com/qQPgFoHVEj

— Tony Reali (@TonyReali) June 17, 2020

How romantic

Here ya go, but we'd like to go on record saying that proposing via iPhone wallpaper may not be the best idea. pic.twitter.com/iMGQuWSnsQ

— Kansas City Royals (@Royals) June 17, 2020

Not sports

Kristen Stewart is starring in a new movie about Princess Diana. ... Facebook is going to let people opt out of seeing political ads. ... A soap opera is turning to sex dolls to get around social distancing rules on set.

This guy made a music video about his favorite bakery reopening

This app is a hilarious failure

CURVE: FLATTENED. pic.twitter.com/ctNetY564l

— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) June 17, 2020

Who asked for this? 

Pretty much

A good song

Email dan.gartland@si.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.