Presenting the best and funniest names of the 2017 MLB Draft

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Wednesday June 14th, 2017

There were 1,215 players selected in this year's MLB Draft, from prep school star Royce Lewis at No. 1 to the Twins to the last man off the board, a Lipscomb University righthander named Jeffrey Passantino who's now a member of the defending champion Cubs. Some of those 1,000-plus players will be future All-Stars, MVPs or World Series heroes; most will never step foot on a major league diamond. But no matter where they were picked, a select few can already call themselves part of a truly special group: the best names in the draft.

Taking a cue from our National Signing Day list of the best names to join college football's top programs, we've collected the funniest and strangest monikers called in by MLB scouting departments over the last three days and grouped them thematically. Reminder: All the names you're about to read are 100% real. No Bradens, Braedens, Braydens, Braydyns, Braedyns or Braeydns were hurt in the making of these lists.

Supermarket Sweep Division

Cade Lemons, RHP, Brewers
Jonathan Lecroix, OF, Astros
Zach Pop, RHP, Dodgers
Frankie Tostado, OF, Giants

Deadball Era Division

Packy Naughton, LHP, Reds
Hagen Owenby, C, Braves
Rollie Lacy, RHP, Cubs
Dillon Persinger, 2B, Indians
Asa Lacy, LHP, Indians
MacLeod Lozer, RHP, Mets

Aptonym Division

Cannon Chadwick, RHP, Mets
Janson Junk, RHP, Yankees
Miller Hogan, RHP, Brewers

Must See TV Division

Kramer Robertson, SS, Cardinals
Chandler Newman, RHP, Padres

Mid-2000s Game Show Division

Cash Case, SS, Reds

Star Wars: Episode IX Character Division

Bligh Madris, OF, Pirates
Obie Ricumstrict, SS, Rangers
Daulton Varsho, Brewers, C
Maverik Buffo, RHP, Blue Jays

Main Stage at Ozzfest Division

Logan Warmoth, SS, Blue Jays
Hunter Wolfe, SS, Pirates
Brock Deatherage, OF, Pirates

Best Witness Protection Program Choices Division

Phoenix Sanders, RHP, Rays
Jose Caballero, SS, Diamondbacks
Trevor Casanova, C, Mariners
Antoine Mistico, OF, Tigers
Ernie De La Trinidad, OF, Diamondbacks
Kevin Santa, SS, Mariners
Preston Grand Pre, SS, Dodgers
Franklin Van Gurp, RHP, Dodgers
Bernabe Camargo, SS, Angels
A.J. Bumpass, OF, Reds
Bennett Sousa, LHP, Nationals
Edmond Americaan, OF, Rangers
Boyd Vander Kooi, RHP, Diamondbacks

Blaxploitation Star Division

Canaan Smith, OF, Yankees
Dante Mendoza, RHP, Indians
Tate Blackman, 2B, White Sox

Bodice Rippers Division

Evan Steele, LHP, Royals
Jacob Heatherly, LHP, Reds
Colton Hathcock, RHP, Rockies
Montana Parsons, RHP, Marlins
Mason House, OF, Padres
Landon Gray, C, Phillies
Baron Radcliff, OF, Braves

19th Century Southern Senators Division

Pearson McMahan, RHP, Rockies
Landon Leach, RHP, Twins
Griffin Canning, RHP, Angels
Bowden Francis, RHP, Brewers
Lincoln Henzman, RHP, White Sox
Brigham Hill, RHP, Nationals
Jackson Tetreault, RHP, Nationals

Alternative Spellings Division

Kade McClure, RHP, White Sox
Ryley Widell, LHP, Twins
Kobie Russell, C, Blue Jays
Kutter Crawford, RHP, Red Sox
Ledgend Smith, LHP, Brewers
Korry Howell, SS, Royals
Kodi Whitley, RHP, Cardinals
Kaylor Chafin, LHP, Mets

Not Quite Major Leaguers Division

Trey Turner, RHP, Nationals
Addison Russ, RHP, Phillies
Jake Taylor, C, Braves

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