2017 National Signing Day All-Name Team

1:42 | College Football
#DearAndy: P.J. Fleck bringing commits to Minnesota
Friday January 27th, 2017

The arrival of National Signing Day means dedicating too much attention to young pups yet to attend their senior prom as a means of aiding our football withdrawals. Yes, star rankings matter. No, not many of these recruits will make an instant impact next season.

Instead, let’s take a look at the names! Like Equanimeous St. Brown, Silverberry Mouhon, Dee Liner and Eddie McDoom before them, these recruits could all go pro in something other than football. So I decided to offer categories instead of traditional positional rankings. It took significant scouring of Scout.com to compile all of them; I'd recommend it if you are fantastically bored.

You may hear some of these names called in the coming years. You will likely not hear many more of them. That's all the more reason to appreciate them now. So, whether the recruit is signing with Tennessee or Tennessee Martin, Alabama or Alabama State, here are the best names of the class of 2017.

Captains

Ye’Majesty Sanders

DeeJay Dallas

Trevor Brohard

Kymbotric Mason

Cement shoes division

Santino Marchiol

Carlito Gonzalez

Dante Sparaco

Tommy DeVito

Dominic Pastucci

Nicolo DiFronzo

Cheyenne Labruzza

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Texarkana City Council division

Woodford Lankford

Sherman Timbs

Cutter Leftwich

Major Tennison

Maverick Wolfley

Hayden Howerton

Thayer Munford

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Notre Dame passed on this guy? division

Tommy Christ

Action movie villains division

Rutger Reitmaier

Kaiser Carleton

Remington Lutz

Braxton Ransaw

Bryson Powers

Harrison Loveless

Action movie heroes division

Lakendrick VanZandt

Creed Humphrey

Waynmon Steed

Legend Brumbaugh

Axel Nyembwe

Stone Edwards

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RIP Pimp C division

Alex Leatherwood

Smooth jamz division

Saahdiq Charles

Phidarian Mathis

Biaggio Ali-Walsh

Chaz Ah You

 

Legends of Rockabilly division

Jimmy Jaggers

Mac Hippenhammer

Charlie Kuhbander

Peyton Hendershot

Obie Ricumstrict

Dresser Winn

Thomas Pynchon protagonist division

Charleston Rambo

Phazione McClurge

Shantavis Vardaman

Dazz Newsome

DeCavilon Reese

Holden Hotchkiss

Deommodore Lenoir

“Wait, isn't that my UPS guy's name?” division

Dennis Bardwell

Russ Yeast

Noah Bean

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Adult film cast division

Seth Boomer

Walker Wood

Latrell Bumphus

Broc Bando

Zane Zandier

Plaquemines Parish Police Department division

Briggs Bourgeois

Bernard Goodwater

Bentley Hanshaw

Creston Cooledge

Old Testament pain division

Hezekiah Jones

Zechariah Byrd

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'Literally, not seriously' division

Dontae Bull

Ameer Speed

D'Andre Swift

Tayon Fleet-Davis

Consonant chaos division

Shon’Derious Sprallings

Quazzel White

D’Najee Whosendove

Ammon Hannemann

Zacchaeus McKinney

Xazavian Valladay

Once-recalled governors of California division

Gray Davis

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Corporate marketing division

Lavante Epson

Octavius Pringle

Kenderick Marbles

Glorious, but miscellaneous division

Osiris St. Brown

Kevaughn Dingle

Braxton Burmeister

Nick Brahms

Waldrekious Parker

Drake Puffenbarger

Shawn Shamburger

LaDarius Dickens​

Baylon Spector

Zalontae Hillery

Onesimus Lutu-Clarke

Tabyous Casterberry

Gregor MacKellar

Ja’Sir Taylor

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