Watch: Kyle Seager, Carlos Ruiz Battle To See Who Can Name More Animals in Spanish

This is maybe the greatest Spanish-language battle the world has ever seen.

You don't need me to provide an intro or context for this sublime minute-long video of Mariners teammates Kyle Seager and Carlos Ruiz trying to see who can name more animals in Spanish while locked in a tight handshake and yelling at the top of their lungs. To explain or try to joke about the goofiness is to ruin it; just go watch it and enjoy.

I wish I could frame Seager's face when Ruiz says "Tiburon," or at least bottle and sell the intensity with which he screams "Tortuga!"

As a native Spanish speaker, I will quickly note that the word for "piranha" is not, in fact, "piranha" (it's actually "piraña"), and the word for "cheetah" is not "cheetah" but "leopardo cazador," though that's a tough one. It also does feel like Seager's cheating when he starts naming bears but with colors and/or descriptors attached (see "oso de negro," or "bear of black"). And the less said about his attempt at the Spanish word for "rhinoceros," the better. Still, I would happily watch a video of the two of them doing this before every single Mariners game—although if Ruiz retires at the end of the year, Seager will have to find a new partner. I hope he can.