Super Bowl MVP: The Dream

Author:
SI Staff
Publish date:
Jan 31, 2008

Super Bowl MVP: The Dream

Jared Lorenzen

<i>Scenarios, some more dreamy than others, in which the following could win the MVP award.</i><br><br>Eli's bummin'. He's just hurt his shoulder. Fear not, it's...the Hefty Lefty! The Pillsbury Throwboy! J-Load! And all those nicknames Lorenzen had at Kentucky, where he once weighed 322. A svelte 285 now, he sits in the pocket as Seau and Bruschi bounce off him. The left-hander, an XLII-sized Tim T-Bone, barrels in from the 1 at the gun to win it!

Laurence Maroney

Yes, we're as tired as you are of hearing Chris Berman bellow, "And it's Laurence 'Boney' Maroney! And whoop! He could...go...all...the...way!" But make no bones about it: A Maroney, by any name, is very good. Especially if the Giants focus on Moss. The Jaguars and Chargers did, and whoop! Boney bolted for 122 yards against each.

Lawrence Tynes

"LT! LT!" No, not Lawrence Taylor. It's the Giants' LT of the 21st century. He missed two late field goals in frigid Green Bay before connecting in OT. Do that in the desert, and LT is the first placekicker to be a Super Bowl MVP...and he tunes out Tom Coughlin for good.

Matt Gutierrez & Matt Cassell

When Tom Brady suddenly goes down with a hyperextended Bundchen, offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels yells, "Matt! Get in there!" Matt Cassel and Matt Gutierrez, the little-used backup quarterbacks, both run onto the field. On a hunch, McDaniels decides to alternate them. They play like Brady clones, the Pats put up 50, and Matt & Matt join Dallas' Randy White and Harvey Martin as the only Super Bowl co-MVPs.

Brandon Jacobs

He's on the loose again, all 264 pounds of him! Forget the women and children! Board up the play clocks in each end zone! And just pray that if he scores again, as Jacobs has in all three playoff games, he won't actually go through with his faked Lambeau Leap. Oh, the humanity! Oy, what a load to try to tackle!

Kyle Brady

Headline: "Brady Named Supe XLII MVP." Ho-hum? Hardly. The Other Brady, Kyle, couldn't be more different than the GQ QB. The devoutly religious, veteran tight end has one playoff catch. But he's a blocking fiend in the three-tight end scheme. If Tom gets hurt, if it rains and the retractable roof won't close? Insert a K. in that headline! Or not.

Steve Smith

With New England determined to shut down and shut up Plaxico Burress for predicting a Giant-sized upset, Smith has a six-catch field day. While Rodney Harrison clotheslines and taunts Burress at the 15, Smith grabs a 25-yard TD pass behind them as the gun sounds and New York wins...23-17, precisely as Plaxico predicted.

Justin Tuck & Adalius Thomas

You say a young Giants sackmeister, or an older Patriots linebacker, can't possibly be a Super Bowl MVP? Well, what's the odds of two players, third -- or is it fourth? -- cousins from nearby towns in Coosa County, Ala., six years apart in age, who played at Coosa Central High, meeting in the Super Bowl? Why can't one be a Coosa celebre MVP?

Michael Strahan

Training camp? We don't need no stinkin' training camp. Not if you're Strahan, who reported just before the opener after considering (feigning?) retirement. Now his legs are fresh, he's back in a second Super Bowl. If Brady makes like Strahan's buddy Brett Favre and falls down a few times, Strahan wins big. Maybe doubly, individually so.

Eli Manning

Eli's humming. Humming the ball the last month like the Giants and Ernie Accorsi, their ex-GM who coveted Peyton's brother, hoped he could. If Eli isn't fooled by the Pats' well-disguised coverages, a Manning may be the Supe MVP again. Unless Jessica Simpson's shimmying in the Mara suite in a pink No. 10 Giants jersey. Tiki who?

Randy Moss

For three quarters, Moss is once again double-covered and shut down. Suddenly, from the Spygate School of Dirty Trickery, Bill Belichick finagles a restraining order to be served on the Giants' sideline, prohibiting their secondary from getting within 20 yards of Moss. ''I don't need no restraining order,'' huffs Moss, who burns 'em deep again. Twice.

Tom Brady

His walking boot -- the most hyped boot since "Das Boot" hit the big screen -- has been discarded, just like Jacksonville and San Diego. Unless Jessica Simpson suddenly shows up in Bob Kraft's suite shakin' it in a pink No. 12 Patriots jersey, New England ends up looking just like its dimpled MVP QB: Perfect.

Super Bowl MVP: The Dream