Cowboys Win Some (Zimmer to Coordinator), Lose Some (Woodson to Canton)
WHITT'S END 2.9.24:
Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
*2024 has been less than a happy new year for the Dallas Cowboys. Abrupt exit from the NFL playoffs. Dan Quinn leaves for rival Washington. And Thursday night, 1990s safety Darren Woodson was again snubbed by the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
In fact, the Cowboys were shut out of the NFL Honors awards in Las Vegas, with finalists CeeDee Lamb, Daron Bland, Micah Parsons and Dak Prescott all losing their categories. Prescott, for what it’s worth, finished second in MVP voting to Lamar Jackson.
The Cowboys did, however, “win” their target for new defensive coordinator: Mike Zimmer.
Woodson heartily endorses the coach’s return to Dallas. He played under Zimmer in the ’90s and said they remain in touch to the point of “talking football” every week during this season.
If Woodson would've been inducted into Canton, in fact, here's betting Zimmer would have been his presenter.
“Coaching just runs in his blood,” Woodson said this week. “He’s just so engaged in the game. If you want someone who’s going to shock the system … he’s not going to be your best friend. He’s tough. Hard-nosed. He knows the game better than anyone, and he’s going to coach hard. That’s the shock this team needs.”
His name just begs to be "Mike Zinger.''
*On Feb. 6, 2023 the Dallas Mavericks made a blockbuster trade for Kyrie Irving. Since then, they are 37-41. On Feb. 8, 2024, the Mavs made a blockbuster(ish) trade for P.J. Washington. Afterward, they went … 41-37 seems about right.
*As you get ready to watch Super Bowl LVIII Sunday, just a reminder that these quarterbacks have a ring: Jeff Hostetler, Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson and Nick Foles, while these quarterbacks don not: Boomer Esiason, Warren Moon, Jim Kelly and Dan Marino. Oh, and two guys named Tony Romo and Prescott have never even sniffed playing in one.
*Forgot last week to give a shout out to The Ticket for 30 years of sports radio success in DFW. Amazing run. The station’s morning show – Dunham & Miller – has been at the top of its ratings for seems like almost that long, too. Whatever their formula, it works. But it sure ain’t creativity in nicknames. The show stars “Gordo” Gordon and it is changing producers from “Fernando” Fernandez to Jacob Detamore. One guess what they call him? Sure enough, “Detty.”
*Went to the Dallas Open at SMU this week and did two things I didn’t particularly enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, watching professional tennis is amazing. But I’m not a big fan of an Espresso Martini in a can. Even less thrilling was paying $12 for it. And now I find out that at the liquor store those things are $11 … for a 4-pack! Come for the volleys; Pay like you’re in Vegas.
*Cowboys won’t be adding to their five Super Bowl wins this year. So, let’s just rank the ones they have. After we dust them off, obviously. Silver lining: Eight NFL teams have longer Super Bowl droughts than the Cowboys’ 28 years. And three teams – Jaguars (29 years), Browns (55) and Lions (58) – have never played in one. Feel better?
*Hot.
*Not.
*Shocker Emmitt Smith this week at the Super Bowl. Asked why Mike McCarthy was returning as Cowboys’ head coach, the NFL’s all-time leading rusher replied, “Because I’m not the GM.” Ouch.
*X-ray vision? Flying? Mind-reading? Sure, those are cool superpowers. But they’re also wholly irrational and unrealistic. (Trust me, I’ve tried.) Something almost as formidable and definitely attainable: Unflappability. Become so confident in yourself, your beliefs and your skills that it’s impossible to be knocked off your foundation or disconnected from your moorings. The ability to remain calm and not react – especially when your adversaries desperately want to get under your skin – is indeed super.
*I lamented last week that the Mavs were doomed if they didn’t improve their rebounding. Good on them for making moves to try and do exactly that.
Washington is a 6-7 forward who can shoot the 3-pointer but also play both frontcourt positions. Gafford, 6-10, is more of a traditional center and rim-protector. Both are averaging 10+ points and 6+ rebounds, and should give much-needed help to rookie Dereck Lively II.
Not sexy trades. But both necessary.
Said GM Nico Harrison, “We had three goals. We wanted to get bigger, we wanted to add to our depth in the front court, and then also get some scoring punch. We feel like they’re here to accomplish those.”
*Not sure whom to point the finger at in this DFW case: The fake FBI agent who scammed a woman out of $800,000? Or the naïve victim who – for years, mind you – believed she was on “secret probation” and needed to pay to avoid prison. In the end, maybe they both got what they deserved?
*Jerry Jones was understandably roasted for last week boasting that his Cowboys were “around the rim” despite not making it to an NFC Championship Game since 1996. Then came last Sunday and his AT&T Stadium was beaten out by New York/New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium to host the 2026 World Cup Final. The Cowboys’ home will host a semifinal and a tournament-high nine matches. But the goal was the championship game. There Jerry is again, merely “around the rim.”
*When I’m wrong, I’m wrong. (Cowboys 48, Packers 17 ring a bell?) But, sometimes, I’m right. This is what I wrote last July when the Mavs were selling the trade for Grant Williams:
“Sorry, Mavs, but in what world – or metric – is Grant Williams considerably better than Reggie Bullock? I’m not a big Bullock fan, mind you. And, okay, Williams is eight years younger and brawnier, allowing him to maybe guard some bigs. But Williams is only a streaky shooter at best. He’s also notoriously a fake tough guy, last seen trash-talking and waking up Jimmy Butler in what turned out to be a key home loss for the Celtics in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Heat. Hard pass for me.”
Williams didn’t even make it to the All-Star break with Dallas, who traded him Thursday in the deal to acquire Washington.
*Forgot that a Cowboys’ 2015 second-round draft pick might win a Super Bowl ring on Sunday. We rooting for Randy Gregory?
*Heard two guys – spoiler alert: caps over bald heads with gray facial hair – at the gym this week yammering about “Texit.” Seems they actually want Texas to secede from the United States so “we can be our damn country and they can just kiss our ass!” Wonder if they’ve really thought this through? (I’m actually quite certain they haven’t, so let’s do it for them.)
If Texas becomes an independent country it would:
Lose $68 billion in annual federal funding for infrastructure like schools and roads and military and hi-speed internet … lose Social Security benefits … have to institute a state income tax … invent its own form of currency to replace their U.S. dollars, which would immediately and drastically reduce in value … have to negotiate its own trade agreements with China, or else have a shortage of imports such as iPhones … (my favorite) have to create its own passports and negotiate visas with countries like the good ol’ USA. Unless/until that occurred, Texans traveling anywhere outside the state would be – altogether now – illegally crossing the border.
*Classic quote from unique Cowboys’ 1970s running back Duane Thomas: “If the Super Bowl is the ultimate game, how come there is another one next year?” Touche.
*This Weekend? Friday’s let’s go Here for dinner. Saturday let’s go There to visit friends. Sunday let’s go to a Super Bowl LVIII party. As always, don’t be a stranger.
