The Premier League returns on Saturday with more football to follow the football that happened last weekend.
Among the fixtures on offer is the Blues of Chelsea against the stripes of Brighton in a match that will go down in history as one of the many football matches happening this weekend.
Mitchell and Webb aside, Chelsea will be looking for a first league win of the season, although there may be fatigue in the ranks as a result of incessant laughter at Tottenham's midweek misfortune at Colchester. Their visitors, meanwhile, will be looking for their first victory since the opening day.
So what is the best way to prepare for a likely forgettable Premier League encounter between to average teams? That's right, stats! Here are Opta's best facts ahead of Saturday's 3pm kick-off.
11-1 on Aggregate
Brighton's Premier League record is, frankly, dire. Chelsea have won all four of their meetings, scoring 11 goals and conceding just one in the process.
The Seagulls were also defeated in their four previous meetings in the second tier between 1983 and 1989.
The signs are good for the visitors then... [insert clenched teeth emoji]
Unwanted Record Breakers?
Should the hosts FINALLY pick up a first victory at Stamford Bridge this season, then it will be bad news for their guests.
A defeat for Brighton would set a record since the Football League began in 1888 for most games against an opponent while losing each game (currently eight defeats) – Bournemouth also lost all eight of their games against Wimbledon between 1977 and 1984.
Eight plus one = nine, and therefore Brighton will inherently become Chelsea's whipping boys.
Brighton's Barren Road
The Seagulls cannot buy a goal on the road (not that I would condone that).
They have failed to score in five of their last seven away league games (W1 D3 L3).
Since they were promoted to the Premier League in 2017 only Huddersfield (23) have failed to score in more away games than the Seagulls (22). And we all know what happened to Huddersfield, don't we lads.
Tammy's Bogey Team
At this stage, all signs are pointing to a home win.
HOWEVER, based on one of those quirks of football that actually means absolutely nothing, Brighton may be offered a reprieve from Chelsea's top goalscorer.
While he may have scored seven goals in his last four Premier League games, in his English league career, he’s faced Brighton more often without finding the net than he has any other side (four games).
Not worth the risk, Frank. Leave him on the bench.
Lamps Seeks Home Comforts
Super Frank will be desperate for a first home victory to avoid equalling a couple of long-standing records.
The last time they failed to win any of their first four at Stamford Bridge in a league season was 1986-87.
Lampard is looking to avoid becoming only the second manager in Chelsea’s history to fail to win any of their first four home league games in charge, after Bobby Campbell in April 1988 (D3 L1).
The Big Bad Six
Brighton have an abysmal record on the road against the so-called 'top six'.
In fact, they have only picked up a single point on their travels against the country's top dogs.
In 13 matches their record is W0 D1 L12. [Insert another gritted teeth emoji].
Long gone are the days of John Terry, Branislav Ivanovic and Papy Djilobodji shoring up the Blues' defence.
The new gaffer has opted for a more youthful back line following the departure of Marmite figure David Luiz on deadline day, but the results have *not* been great.
Chelsea have shipped 13 Premier League goals so far this season and are yet to Kepa (get it) clean sheet.The last time they failed to keep a single clean sheet in their opening seven games to a top-flight season was in 1990-91.