Monday December 15th, 2014

Everyone’s familiar with all-name teams. When you find a Lion King or a Silverberry Mouhon, it’s only natural to get excited. But sometimes a name doesn’t quite fit a sport. Sure, a guy like Dusty Baker is destined to play (and coach) baseball. But Pistol Pete Maravich was never going to be a bowler.

When I looked at quarterbacks this season, I noticed something out of the ordinary. There were a lot more NASCAR drivers playing quarterback in college than I thought. I mean, like a lot of them. How did this happen? When did this happen? I know NASCAR is popular, but who knew so many of these guys under center had racing names.

Here is my attempt to rank the top NASCAR quarterback names in college football. (I’m aware this is a dumb idea, so if you are going to say “this is dumb” in the comments, at least recognize that I already know this.)

1) Clint Trickett, West Virginia
I noticed this while Trickett was still at Florida State. The dude was born to race. After making the picture at the top, I was stunned at how natural he looks in the suit and a hat.

2) Gunner Kiel, Cincinnati

3) Garrett Grayson, Colorado State

4) Hutson Mason, Georgia

5) Jameis Winston, FSU
Here’s one that is a bit underrated. He’s got the first name that’s just different enough to stand out, like spelling Jimmy as Jimmie, plus he has a quintessential racing last name. Winston. There was a whole dang Cup named after that North Carolina cigarette brand.

6) Bo Wallace, Ole Miss

7) Wes Lunt, Illinois

8) Grant Hedrick, Boise State

9) Bryce Petty, Baylor

10) Cody Clements, UAB

11) Logan Woodside, Toledo
This guy seems poised to be the newcomer of the year, honestly. “Just entering the Chase is Logan Woodside. He started driving when he was 4 years old. His daddy built him a custom-made souped up Power Wheels, and he got that dang thing up to 35 miles per hour.”

12) Shane Carden, East Carolina
I mean, heck, the word “car” is in his last name.

13) Cody Kessler, USC

14) Blake Sims, Alabama

15) Dak Prescott, Mississippi State

16) J.T. Barrett, Ohio State
Initials are always solid.

17) Blake Decker, UNLV

18) Jake Waters, Kansas State

19) Cody Sokol, Louisiana Tech

20) Cooper Rush, Central Michigan
This guy has a dynamite two-name combo and he seems destined to scuffle with another driver. Plus there’s a movie about racing named Rush.

21) Michael Brewer, Virginia Tech

22) Gary Nova, Rutgers
Gary Nova, Chevy Nova, you get it.

23) Paxton Lynch, Memphis

24) Maty Mauk, Missouri

25) Anthony Boone, Duke

26) Kyle Pohl, Akron
Think of all the great racing puns in graphics and newspapers you could get with a guy whose last name is Pohl.

27) Terrance Broadway, Louisiana-Lafayette

28) Daxx Garman, Oklahoma State

29) Greg Ward Jr., Houston
You’ve got to get at least one Junior in the mix.

30) Cole Stoudt, Clemson
The only thing setting Stoudt back is his name sounds too good, like he’s the bad guy in a “Days of Thunder” straight-to-DVD sequel.

31) Austin Appleby, Purdue

32) Justin Thomas, Georgia Tech

33) Tanner Lee, Tulane

34) Jeff Driskel, Florida

35) Tucker Carter, UTSA
We finally got our first true two-first- and two-last-names guy in the mix. Clay Rogers would be so proud.

36) Cole Weeks, Southern Miss

37) Zander Diamont, Indiana

38) Kyle Allen, Texas A&M

39) Quinn Kaehler, San Diego State

40) Mike Bercovici, Arizona State
Somebody’s got to represent the F1 circuit.

• STAPLES: Which quarterback could be next year's Marcus Mariota?

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