Friday March 6th, 2015

Shaquille O'Neal turned 43 today, so it felt like a good time to celebrate all he's accomplished in his career. Not his basketball career -- his other job, as a pitchman for, um, everything. I do not use this word lightly, but there is LITERALLY no chance you haven't purchased or at least used a Shaq-backed product. None.

Shaq is such a businessman now that he actually uttered this sentence to the New York Times last year: “We’d like to see if we can create a little synergy under the Shaq umbrella."

Below are just 50 of the (probably) thousands of things under the Shaq umbrella, ranked in order of their value to mankind and/or deliciousness.

  • 50
    50Sleep apnea mask
     
     

  • 49

    49Power balance bracelet
     
     

  • 48

    48iGO HEADPHONES
     
     

  • 47
     
    47Susta sugar subsitute
     
     

  • 46
    46Quick Sticks (GLUCOSE)
     
     

  • 45
    45callsnap app
     
     

  • 44
     
    44Apollo jets
     
    (In case you're in the market, this is his favorite.)

  • 43
    43Enlyten diet strips
     

     

  • 42
    42Shaqdown app
     

     

  • 41
    41Tout
     

     

  • 40
     
    40Audemars piguet watches
     
     

  • 39
    39Toys R Us (for charity)
     

     

  • 38
    38Something called Blackphone
     

     

  • 37
     
    3724-Hour Fitness
     

  • 36
    36Radio Shack
     

     

  • 35
    35Soupman
     
     
     

  • 34
    34Zales
     
     

  • 33

    33Soda Shaq (Arizona Beverages)
     
     

  • 32
    32Tiger Woods PGA Tour
     

     

  • 31

    31Shaq Fu Punch (Arizona Beverages)
     
     

  • 30

    30Muscle Milk
     
     

  • 29
     
    29Little Shaq books
     

  • 28
    28Dunkman shoes and apparel
     
     

  • 27
    27Chris Christie
     

     

  • 26
    26Harbin beer
     

     

  • 25
    25Nintendo DS Tomodachi Life
     
     

  • 24
    24Dove for Men
     

     

  • 23
    23JCPenney (Shaq Select sneakers)
     
     

  • 22
    22Macy's (suits)
     
     

  • 21
    21Comcast
     

     

  • 20
    20Monster speakers
     

     

  • 19
     
    19Capelli slippers
     
     

  • 18
    18Spalding
     
     

  • 17
    17NBA 2K
     

     

  • 16
    16Li-Ning shoes and apparel
     

     

  • 15
    15Drone watches
     
     

  • 14
    14vitaminwater
     
     

  • 13
    13Gold Bond
     

     

  • 12
    12Buick
     

     

  • 11
     
    11Luv Shaq vodka*
     
    *Pretty sure this never actually got released. Otherwise, it probably would have cracked the top 10.

  • 10
    10Shaq Fu
     

     

  • 9
    9Taco Bell
     

     

  • 8
    8Nestle Crunch
     

     

  • 7
    7Icy Hot
     

     

  • 6
    6Mr. Big
     
     

  • 5
    5Pepsi (Shaq Attack!)
     

     

  • 4
    4Wheaties
     
     

  • 3
    3Reebok
     

     

  • 2
    2Triple-Double Oreos
     

     

  • 1
    1Burger King (Shaq Pack!)
     

     

 

Gallery: Rare photos of Shaq

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