Welcome back to another edition of The World’s Angriest Fan, where each week we speak to a fan who has completely had it with his or her team. Just hands-in-the-air, wall-smashing, I’m-finally-selling-my-toaster-that-burns-a-logo-into-my-bread done with the whole thing.
Maybe your team just blew it. Maybe your infield is garbage and your starting pitcher is mid-meltdown. Maybe your manager is a fool, or your GM too far down the path of lunacy to turn back. Perhaps there are mysterious forces conspiring to drive your team into the ground. Or perhaps those forces are hiding in plain sight, and no one seems to want to do anything about it,
Have you ever hated the team you love? Like really, really, really hated them, with a fervor and venom typically reserved for dictators or diseases? Mike has.
He is the World’s Angriest Fan.
The New York Yankees seldom are underdogs, but they began 2015 on the heels of a two-year playoff drought — which, in the Bronx, qualifies as an excuse to burn things. So, when buoyed by a renaissance year from Alex Rodriguez, the Yankees turned out to be not only good but certifiably dominant, their fans rejoiced. Then, somehow, it all went horribly wrong. At the July 31 trade deadline, the Yankees held a commanding six-game lead in the AL East. By the time the regular season came to a close, New York had surrendered the divisional title to the Toronto Blue Jays. Forced into a one-game wild-card scenario against the Houston Astros in the Bronx, the Yankees were shut out 4-0.
Mike has had enough, and he intends to let the neighbors know about it.
Raised in the Bronx by a family of Yankee lifers, Mike has regularly made a point of watching all 162 games. Sometimes he watches one twice, just to see how the other team’s announcers called the game.
He’s the guy who once punched through a wall when the Yankees blew a game in the ninth. The guy perpetually inclined to scream less-than-polite statements at his beloved Bombers when things aren’t going well:
(Warning: Tweets may contain explicit language.)
(This was directed, I think, at Brian McCann, referred to elsewhere as “Brian ‘i suck at everything’ McCann.”)
Mike, you might imagine, did not enjoy 2015 much.
“The team started off playing like dogs---, making errors all over the place,” Mike said. “As the year went on, they heated up and went on a nice roll. I actually got my hopes up that maybe this could be a special year ... and then in typical fashion, they ended the year losing game after game and blowing their division lead.
“On the last game they played this year, I sat in my room alone drinking away as the team went on to get eliminated in front of all their fans in Yankee Stadium without scoring a single run.”
Most of Mike’s complaints boil down to GM Brian Cashman and manager Joe Girardi.
“First off, the overrated idiotic general manager, who fake Yankees fans that watch a handful of games a season defend, signed Stephen Drew to play second base for us despite the fact that we have a young talented player named [Rob] Refsnyder ready to play," Mike said. "Stephen Drew then goes on to hit like .170 all year, which is disgustingly bad and EMBARASSING.
“No way in hell the Yankees of old allow some bum to hit under .200 for them.
“Then there's the manager, Joe Girardi, who is more full of s--- than anyone I have ever seen in my life. He constantly makes excuses and lies after games in his press conferences. They treat the fans like we’re idiots. I’ve had enough of it.”
As the wild-card game came to a close, Mike seemed torn between despair and relief.
That he blames Girardi and Cashman for the wild-card loss is made abundantly clear, but Mike’s loathing of the 2015 Yankees goes well beyond that.
Still, he has no intention of giving up.
“It’s probably going to be damaging to my mental health,” he said.
Future tense. Interesting.
The World’s Angriest Fan: Quick questions
New York Yankees
Three words to describe your feelings as a fan right now:
Three words to describe your team right now:
Draw the team:
Anything else to add?
They need to fire the GM and manager already.
Until next week (or season), go Yankees!