Hot Mics, Cold Hearts: Week 13 in quotes

Potent quotables from the last regulation-sized week of the 2011 season:

"So college football, where every week matters. Except next week. And the five after that. And some of the previous ones." -- Dan Wetzel

"The best thing about #HateWeek is seeing so many citizens of especially unglamorous states declaring their neighbors are complete savages." -- Jason Kirk

"We aren't LSU, and we aren't Alabama. But we sure ain't Clemson." -- Steve Spurrier

"Based on the analysis of Nebraska and Iowa fans in my Twitter feed, both teams currently trail by two touchdowns." -- Matt Hinton

"Out running errands while whole city is hypnotized by Iron Bowl. Like hurrying to get to brunch before the Baptists get out of church." -- @capertong

"Remember when Malzahn said he couldn't teach the triple option in a week to duplicate Georgia Southern vs. Bama? He's right." -- Jon Solomon

"The SEC is so top heavy that it probably can sing a pretty good rendition of '9 to 5'." -- alert reader Jon O.

"Watching Cal-ASU and I keep looking down at my remote to see if there's a Tessitore button." -- Dan Rubenstein

"Always enjoy watching West Virginia. It's like they're coached by a Robert Earl Keen song." -- Rick Muscles

"Bless the big fella's heart. When the game ends with #76 trying to chug 70 yards, hope has been extinguished." -- Scott Van Pelt, watching the Backyard Brawl

"Jefferson in jail!" -- Verne Lundquist, live on CBS, as Jordan Jefferson was dropped by Arkansas defenders

"Chris Petersen sees the QB-switching - and the mayhem - and wonders: Is that my Bryan?" -- George Schroeder

"Urban Meyer won't be appearing on ESPN this weekend. He requested off his studio assignment and we obliged." -- Mike Humes

"Please note there is a security guard stationed outside my home today. The only media I will allow through are Urban Meyer and Joe Schad." -- Richard Deitsch

"Urban Meyer should just start walking around Michigan Stadium wearing a Redskins jacket." -- @celebrityhottub

"Hypothetical you is very excited about the prospect of a Braxton Miller running a hypothetical Urban Meyer offense." -- Spencer Hall

"Time for A&M to counter troll by hiring Manny Diaz as Head Coach." -- Luke Zimmermann

"Stanford has come on to the field and their uniforms are .... silly. Someone just referred to them as the Fighting Red Blood Cells." -- Stewart Mandel

"Two big positives for ND fans: 1) Irish held Stanford to lowest point total all season. 2) the Citrus Bowl has a nice new turf surface." -- @champssportsbwl

"I wish Spurrier didn't wear visors because I'd love to see him punch through a hat." -- @BobbyBigWheel

"Only Kentucky would manage to break a 26-game losing streak by not playing a QB." -- @shaneboydcrowdr

"The shocking thing about TTech's collapse is the one thing no one predicted was that Mike Leach would leave and the defense would get WORSE." -- Chris Brown

@cubuffs