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Preseason Feature Mad Libs: New offensive coordinator

Click here for more mad libs and the rest of Punt, Pass and Pork. After washing out as a walk-on tight end, ( new coordinator) began his career as a
Preseason Feature Mad Libs: New offensive coordinator
Preseason Feature Mad Libs: New offensive coordinator

Click here for more mad libs and the rest of Punt, Pass and Pork.

After washing out as a walk-on tight end, ( new coordinator) began his career as a student assistant fetching (breakfast treat) for (noted offensive guru). By age (number), (new coordinator) was coaching inside receivers. He called plays for the first time at (age) after (other noted offensive guru from first offensive guru's coaching tree) was fired for (reason for late-season firing). The key to (new coordinator's) offense is tempo. Ideally, he'd like to run (number) plays a game and have at least (number) skill players touch the football. His offense takes (length of time) to install, and the entire thing can fit on one (analog or digital data storage device). During games, (new coordinator) signals plays with a set of posters that feature a rotating set of photos of characters from (any Hanna-Barbera cartoon). This allows every player on the field to understand the play call in (number) seconds. (New coordinator) places a tremendous amount of trust in his quarterback. The QB will be allowed to audible in any situation, and he'll also be expected to (thing no one should trust a 20-year-old to do).

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New offensive coordinator

Breakfast treat

Noted offensive guru

Early age

Later age

Other noted offensive guru from same coaching tree

School

Reason for late-season firing

Number of plays

Number of skill players

Length of time to install offense

Analog or digital data storage device

Any Hanna-Barbara cartoon

Number of seconds

Thing no one should trust a 20-year-old to do

Your team hired a new offensive coordinator...

After washing out as a walk-on tight end, began his career as a student assistant fetching for . By age , was coaching inside receivers. He called plays for the first time at after was fired for . The key to 's offense is tempo. Ideally, he'd like to run plays a game and have at least skill players touch the football. His offense takes to install, and the entire thing can fit on one . During games, signals plays with a set of posters that feature a rotating set of photos of characters from . This allows every player on the field to understand the play call in seconds. places a tremendous amount of trust in his quarterback. The QB will be allowed to audible in any situation, and he'll also be expected to .

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Andy Staples
ANDY STAPLES

Senior writer Andy Staples has covered college football for SI since 2008, developing an encyclopedic index of the best food in every college town along the way.