Handicapping What the Next Front Page Headline Will Be in the Ongoing Feud Between The Toronto Sun and The New York Daily News

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The ongoing front page battle between the New York Daily News and the Toronto Sunhas been among the most entertaining subplots of the NBA post-season.


The Toronto Sun kicked things off last week by publishing this front page poking fun at the Nets multitude of aging stars. To stir the pot even more, Toronto Raptors GM Masai Ujiri shouted "F*ck Brooklyn!" at a pre-game rally outside the arena last Saturday.

[NSFW language in the video below]

But despite the hype the Nets would ultimately win the first game of the series, prompting the New York Daily News to run this timely headline:

Game 2 would come down to the wire, but the Raptors would manage to hold off the Nets for their first playoff victory in seven years.

Frank Caliendo Takes Jon Gruden to Gruden’s QB Camp

The Toronto Sun probably dusted off their shoulders before unleashing this puntastic cover:


Now with the third game of the series set to be played in Brooklyn on Friday night, the staff at both tabloids are probably watching with baited breath as they await their opportunity to fire the next shot in this very entertaining back-and-forth.

With this in mind, I've decided to handicap the odds of what the next front page headline be for both publications in the event that their team wins.


If the Nets win, here the odds for what the New York Daily News' front page headline will be:

NO Canada!

Odds: 3/1

Simple, slightly offensive, punny. This really checks off all the boxes for what makes a solid tabloid headline.

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Nothing But Nets!

Odds: 5/1

This headline blows, I hope they don't use it.

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Tyrannasaurus Wrecked

Odds: 10/1

This would be the sensible choice in the event of a blowout and also it follows the dinosaur theme.

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Miss-ozoic Era!

Odds: 25/1

Makes sense if the Raptors shoot a low percentage while losing. Also this would change the pun game forever.

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You Can't Kidd With Jason

Odds: 35/1

This is a slight variation of a notable lyric from a Nelly song, which would be slightly off-theme given he's not from Brooklyn or Toronto. But, in the event that Jason Kidd does something explosive during the game, this headline might be too juicy to pass up. I'd say this is where the smart money is going.

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Good Game Played By All

Odds: 5,000,000,000/1:

Odds could be higher, I got tired of typing zeroes.


If the Raptors win, here are the odds for what the Toronto Sun's front page headline will be:

Brooklyn Fall Hard

Odds: 3/1

I think this is a strong candidate. Takes another shot directly at Brooklyn and does so while making reference to a Jay-Z song.

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Eh for Effort!

Odds: 5/1

This headline blows, I hope they don't use it.

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Clever Masai!

Odds: 30/1

The pun just isn't there, but "clever girl" is the best line from Jurassic Park so I could see The Sun trying to make this work.

Same odds apply for "HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS"

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The Giving KG

Odds: 75/1

I picture this one with Kevin Garnett photoshopped onto a tree making a sad face with the young Raptors players swinging from his branches. Long shot because it's kind of a stretch to turn "KG" into "tree." Also I don't know if every middle school in Canada also requires their students to read The Giving Tree.

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We Won But We Still Think Drake Sucks

Odds: 5,000,000/1

This bitingly honest critique has no place in a tabloid.

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