The Audi 80 was once great, but it's well past its prime.

By Jon Tayler
July 21, 2017

The Raptors' Jonas Valanciunas has, in his brief NBA career, already made nearly $30 million (according to the good folks at Basketball Reference), and the Lithuanian center is due another $50 million or so over the next three seasons. But he apparently hasn't spent a dime of those contract earnings, if his ride to his country's national team camp is any indicator.

Jonas, my man: That car is an absolute POS. It looks like you dragged it out of a Soviet junkyard. It's got bits falling off of it. It's painted the same color as a goth garbage truck. And it hasn't been washed since the Berlin Wall came down. Not to mention that it looks mighty uncomfortable for a man of his seven-foot stature.

Look, not every rich athlete has to throw their money on a Bentley or a Rolls Royce or some kind of lunatic super car like a Bugatti or a souped-up Ferrari. But if you've got the cash, you might as well spend it on something better looking and better performing than something Vilnius' most desperate car thieves would walk past without a second thought. Ditch the rustbucket, dude. Besides, I highly doubt Lithuanian sports writers are as high on the "bad old car = gritty humble athlete" stereotype as Americans are.

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