Archie Bradley and the Sensational Story of the Soiled Slacks
In an appearance Yahoo Sports MLB Podcast with Tim Brown, the fourth-year pitcher for the Diamondbacks decided to be open and honest when discussing just how gross things can get during an MLB game. While talking about Brewers pitcher Adrian Houser, who used to live with Bradley and recently threw up on the field during a game, Bradley told a tale about the time he just couldn't hold it in before entering a game one day and how he had his No. 1 turn into a No. 2.
Here's the story he told Yahoo Sports:
I was warming up to go in a game. I knew I had the next hitter. I knew he was on deck. The at-bat was kinda taking a little bit. As a bullpen guy in these big situations, I call ’em nervous pees, where like I don't have to pee a lot, but I know I have to pee before I go in the game. I can't believe I'm telling you this.
So it’s a 2-2 count, and I’m like, 'Man, I have to pee. I have to go pee.' So I run in our bathroom real quick, I'm ready to go. I'm trying to pee and I actually s--- my pants. Like right before I’m about to go in the game, I pooped my pants. I’m like ‘Oh my gosh.’ I know I’m a pitch away from going in the game, so I’m scrambling to clean myself up. I get it cleaned up the best I can, button my pants up, and our bullpen coach Mike Fetters says, 'Hey, you're in the game.' So I'm jogging into the game to pitch with poop in my pants essentially.
It was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been on the mound. And I actually had a good inning. I had a clean inning, and I walked in the dugout and I was like, 'Guys, I just s--- myself.' They didn’t believe me, then the bullpen came in and they’re like 'Oh my God, you had to see this.'
So the next time you just can't make it to a bathroom in time or your body plays a trick on you when you think you have to fart, just know that means you're just like the guys in the Big Leagues. Cleaning yourself up one swipe at a time.
Dame Loves the Kids
Damian Lillard of the Portland Trail Blazers decided Tuesday was the perfect day to give back to the community. So he did what any other person with a U-Haul truck full of sneakers would do and told the local kids to come meet him for a free pair of shoes.
So of course there was a giant crowd of children looking to score a free pair of Adidas. How often does an All-NBA player just toss free shoes out of truck? You can't miss that opportunity.
Dame, please never stop doing what you do on and and off the court. We all need it.
Just Keep Shooting
In case you weren't aware, this Jayson Tatum guy is pretty good at basketball.
Marcos Rojo's Goal Saved (Broke) Argentina
With just minutes remaining as Argentina fought to stay alive in the World Cup, Marcos Rojo delivered the goal that kept the nation's dream alive of getting back to the World Cup final and avenging its loss in the 2014 championship.
Despite two sub-par games to open the tournament, Argentina is in the knockout round, and the fans couldn't be happier.
And Argentinian legend Diego Maradona channeled his inner Bill Russell to let the World know Argentina is one of the last 16 teams remaining.
But after a finish like that, Maradona and everybody else just needed to relax, take a seat and get a breather more than anything.
Odds and Ends
Egyptian TV commentator Abdel Rahim Mohamed reportedly suffered a heart attack and died after Egypt lost to Saudi Arabia 2-1 to conclude its World Cup ... Images of a cockatoo appeared in a 13th Century book from Holy Roman Emporer King Fredrick II of Sicily and are making people question just when did Europeans start traveling to Australia ... Hip Hop artist Ty Dolla $ign said he was allergic to a woman's seeing-eye dog and tried to get it removed from a plane ... The world's first robot-made hamburgers are coming to San Francisco Wednesday and they only cost $6 ... WWE's Shinsuke Nakamura reportedly had to miss Smackdown Live Tuesday after being bitten by a police dog
What if dogs could really perform CPR though?
It's Turtle Time!
The theme song for the new Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show was recently released.
Memes on Top of Memes
Remember the girlfriend who was mad at her boyfriend's wandering eye.
Well, the other stock images of her will leave you flabbergasted.
Check the thread on Twitter for more surprised faces.
One Good Song
Enjoy your hump day, everybody.
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