Colin Jost will be in Philadelphia on Monday night and surely pay the price for his slam.

By Dan Gartland
March 04, 2019

It’s pretty obvious where this is going

Philadelphia is an easy city to make fun of, especially if you live just up the road in New York. It’s a city that worships a gas station chain and argues endlessly over whether a sandwich made of meat scraps is best served with or without cheese whiz.

The city is good enough for Bryce Harper, though, and so this week’s edition of SNL’s “Weekend Update” included a little jab at Philly inspired by Harper’s massive new contract. 

“Bryce Harper has signed a 13-year, $330 million contract with the Philadelphia Phillies,” anchor Colin Jost said. “Finally, answering the question, ‘How much would someone have to pay you to live in Philadelphia?’”

It’s the lowest of low-hanging fruit. I can’t even think of a lazier joke, but I’m not surprised Jost was the one who made it.

Any Philadelphians who want to see Jost pay for his insult just might get what they want, though. Look where he’s going to be tonight.

And where is Raw this week? In Philadelphia. If this doesn’t end with Jost getting powerbombed through a table, I’ll be very disappointed. I hope the crowd in Philly at least boos him as vociferously as the fans in Seattle did after this joke.

New Orleans: Still very mad

More evidence here that New Orleans will never let the missed pass interference on Rams’ Nickell Robey-Coleman go. Multiple floats at last night’s Mardi Gras parade featured references to the infamous blown NFC Championship Game play

The NFL Scouting Combine has a new event this year

Every year NFL teams use their limited time with prospects at the combine to ask them truly absurd questions that could not have less to do with football, like “If you had to murder someone, would you use a knife or a gun?” Now it’s the Seahawks asking Kentucky’s Lonnie Johnson to do a staring contest with a scout. He said he lasted 15 or 16 seconds. Would Seattle have moved him up its board if he lasted 20?

The best of SI

Trae Young’s shooting earns him Steph Curry comparisons, but his passing is what could make him a star. ... Buffalo’s Tyree Jackson is the newest big quarterback you need to know. ... The Bucks adding Pau Gasol will only improve a team that already has the best record in the NBA.

Around the sports world

The Yankees set a record last season for most home runs by a team and they think they can break it again this year. ... It probably wasn’t a good idea to schedule an MLS game in Colorado for the first week of March, but at least it produced some incredible photos. ... Ole Miss receiver D.K. Metcalf put up some truly absurd numbers at the combine this weekend (even if the body fat measurement is probably wrong).

Stuffing the stat sheet

Not only did Cal’s Kristine Anigwe extend her double-double streak to 30 games, she did it while recording 32 points and 30 rebounds. She’s the first person to do that in a game since 2002 and one of just 11 to do it in history. 

Walk-off stick throw

How’s that for an assist?

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Sticking up for his teammate! 👀😂

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Mario Balotelli still has it

Gotta love a good taunt

Somebody tell that to this ref, though

Trae Young has nothing on this guy

Nothing is funnier than guys injuring themselves celebrating

The indoor mile record just fell after 21 years

Donovan Mitchell made a 102-year-old fan’s night

Crazy scenes after Utah State-Nevada

The Orlando special?

(Also, sign me up for snow games in March.)

Not sports

An Italian mafia fugitive who’d been on the run for 14 years was finally found and arrested while eating pasta. ... This is a great profile of Dave Bautista (aka Drax from the Marvel movies, aka WWE’s Batista). ... An Oregon man spent five days stranded in the snow with his dog surviving only on hot sauce packets from Taco Bell

Somebody go help that guy!

Look out below

Apparently this is true

English people need to be stopped

One man + three guitar necks = U2

Wanna see a spider eat an opossum?

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to seeprevious editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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