BNP Paribas Open

Athletes shouldn’t try to rap. 

By Dan Gartland
March 13, 2019

Athletes shouldn’t try to rap

Rapping is really hard, or at least really hard to do well. But that doesn’t stop many of the world’s best athletes from trying to rap, even though the results are often terrible. Damian Lillard is a legitimately good rapper, but the track LeBron James and Kevin Durant made during the 2011 lockout stinks. Le’Veon Bell released an album last night that just sounds like a bad knockoff of Future. 

The results are bad enough when athletes get in a studio and pay professional producers to create their tracks, so imagine how awful a rap about tennis read off of a phone and performed a cappella would be. That’s exactly what rising Canadian tennis star Denis “El Shapo” Shapovalov did after his upset victory yesterday over Marin Cilic. 

When you’re 19, it’s easy to think that could be a good idea. I’d much prefer if Shapovalov started cutting diss tracks about his opponents before matches.

UPDATE: Thanks to Brennan in Ontario for letting me know Shapovalov was dared to do this. The challenge came from one of the PA announcers at the venue, Blair Henley, who had seen Shapovalov rapping in videos online. 

“I don't mind ever rapping, but it's just, it wasn't easy after the match to find my thoughts, find the lyrics. I remember we were talking after my second-round match, and we just said, prepare something in case I win today,” Shapovalov said after the match

“So I wrote down a couple of things, took me two, three minutes. Didn't actually look at it until after the match today. So I was like, 'Oh, my God, what are the lyrics again? What are the words?'”

I don’t know what to make of this Odell Beckham trade

I’m a Giants fan. Less than 10 minutes after news broke of Odell Beckham’s trade to the Browns, a Jets fan friend of mine texted me gloating. But I’m not entirely convinced this is a terrible trade. In a lot of ways it’s similar to the Knicks trading Kristaps Porzingis last month. Both guys are unique talents who are as fun to watch as anybody in their respective leagues. But they also have injury concerns and were clearly unhappy with their situations in New York.

I would have liked the Giants to get maybe one more asset in the trade (swap a sixth-round pick for a fourth from Cleveland, or something like that) but it’s not a terrible haul. It just hurts a little more because it comes the day after Landon Collins (who the Giants elected not to franchise-tag) agreed to sign with Washington. Beckham and Collins are two guys who, if they keep playing the way they have, could absolutely be Hall of Famers. On the other hand, I can’t be too mad at the Giants for getting rid of one of the game’s best deep threats when they insist on keeping a quarterback who can’t complete a pass more than 10 yards down the field. 

I can’t get enough of this story

What a blessing it is that the craziest story of yesterday had a bizarre sports tie. The short version is that rich people paid college employees to get their kids into big-name schools by pretending they were elite athletes. It involved kids’ faces being photoshopped onto the bodies of actual athletes and countless other absurd details. The whole thing is a “subtextual indictment of American meritocracy,” SI’s Jack Dickey writes

The best of SI

Legal analyst Michael McCann breaks down the admissions scandal. ... NFL agents reveal where their clients most want to play. ... The Odell Beckham trade raises big questions about the future of the Giants.

Around the sports world

Le’Veon Bell is signing with the Jets. ... The Pac-12 commissioner is staying in a hotel suite at the conference tournament this week that costs $7,500 per night. ... The guy who heckled Russell Westbrook in Utah has been permanently banned from Jazz games. ... St. Mary’s stole an NCAA tournament bid by beating No. 1 Gonzaga to win the WCC tournament.

The Lakers actually made two cool plays

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@kingjames off the bounce‼️

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✨ SHOWTIME in Chicago!

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Here’s how the New York tabloids reacted to the Beckham trade

The NBA’s worst owner did a rare interview

[youtube:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zaI0paCuO8]

It’s lengthy, so here are the highlights

Brilliant response from the Daily News to the Knicks

Simply incredible

I guess the Rocky movies are viewed very differently in Russia

Throwback to his minor league days

What an upsetting phrase

A-Rod’s ring is bigger

Surprisingly savage tweet here from MLB

Not sports

A former mobster who appeared in The Godfather makes some wild claims about the assassination of JFK and the death of Marilyn Monroe in his book. ... A Manhattan couple is suing their neighbors alleging they make an absurd amount of noise playing baseball upstairs. The noisy neighbors say they only installed a Nerf hoop. ... The middle of the U.S. is about to get hit by a rare hurricane-like storm

When you forget your lock

Nothing can prepare you for how Mitt Romney blows out birthday candles

I had a beer with spruce tips in it and it was amazing

What a town!

Only five bucks for chugging that massive goblet?

Fresh Prince, reimagined

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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