BREAKING NEWS: Cowboys owner Jerry Jones confirmed he has no plans to fire Wade Phillips mid-season. For fantasy owners with Cowboys players this is also a confirmation that your high-profile, high-round draft picks are sure to under-perform the rest of this season.
According to a report released this week, Bengals receiver Terrell Owens has hired an agency to find him a love interest that possesses the same physical qualities as curvaceous man-killer Kim Kardashian. What a waste of money and resources. Hey, T.O., just call Kim. You have money and your own television show -- qualities the serial-football-dating-beauty is likely to appreciate, based on her recent dating habits. Speaking of ridiculous propositions, CALL ME CRAZY but I'm telling fantasy owners to start Justin Forsett in this week's game against the rival Cardinals. Yes, the Seahawks picked up Marshawn Lynch to provide a boost for their stalled running game, but last week Forsett out-performed the newcomer, and will do so this week against an Arizona unit that has allowed a 100-yard rusher in three of its last four contests.
I like the SHORT ODDS, so I'm betting Christina Aguilera is back on the dating circuit before fellow divorcee-to-be Courtney Cox. I also like the following fantasy quarterbacks to throw two or more touchdown passes: Philip Rivers, Sam Bradford and Jay Cutler.
If T.O.'s love life is a mess, his play this year has been much better than what fantasy owners expected. And this week both he and teammate Chad Ochocinco have an opportunity to pad their stats, so I say DOUBLE DOWN. The Bengals will face an Atlanta Falcons pass defense in Week 7 that ranks 24th in yards allowed per contest. And on more than one occasion this year the Falcons have permitted multiple opposing receivers to post big numbers. Owens and Ochocinco haven't been in sync once all season, but my hunch is the duo will finally blend in Atlanta this weekend.
Over his last five Monday Night Football performances, Eli Manning has averaged 237 passing yards with a total of nine touchdowns. This BASIC MATH suggests Manning will be a solid play at home next Monday against a Cowboys pass defense that has allowed few yards, but ranks in the middle of the pack in opposing quarterback completion percentage (60.2) and touchdown passes allowed (seven).
THE BREAK ROOM (industry experts share their thoughts): Which No. 1 fantasy tight end has had the most disappointing season thus far ...
For Greg Kellogg of Fantasy Sharks it's a two player debate between Philadelphia's Brent Celek and Dallas' Jason Witten.
"At their current pace, Celek will finish with 51 receptions for 589 yards and five touchdowns -- marginally less than Witten's projections of 74 receptions for 864 yards and three touchdowns."
And Kellogg believes that should Philadelphia hand the starting quarterback job back to Michael Vick at some point it will only further lessen Celek's fantasy value. "Discounting Week 1, where both players played, Celek has averaged six targets per game from Vick and eight targets per game from [Kevin] Kolb, a 25 percent increase."
CBSSports.com Senior Fantasy Writer Jamey Eisenberg prefers Witten. The Cowboys promised their star tight end would see more looks in the red zone, but as Eisenberg points out, so far Witten has scored just one touchdown.
Says Eisenberg, "Witten is to fantasy owners what the Cowboys are to the NFL -- a huge disappointment."
"He's the No. 14 tight end in standard leagues behind undrafted guys like Marcedes Lewis, Benjamin Watson and Brandon Pettigrew," adds Eisenberg. "Maybe he improves in the second half like he did last year, but this has become a frustrating pattern."
Syd from New York writes: "Happy to get Kyle Orton early on for Matt Cassel. Laughing all the way to our title game!" ... You're not alone, Syd. Guessing anyone who picked up Orton in a deal this year is laughing right there with you.
Mike Beacom is a contributing writer for FootballDiehards.com. Send him your questions and "sucker trade" entries at email@example.com.