The Climate is a weekly look at what's good and what's not so good in the world of sports. It also will never EVER have anything to do with Twilight or any of it's sequels, no matter how much MTV so desperately wants it to.
Every Male Left in the French Open Draw
Rafael Nadal's four-set loss Sunday has obviously opened up the draw at Roland Garros. It's to the point where pretty much every player left in the fourth round has a legitimate shot at the championship. So breathe a sigh of relief, fellow diehards of Phillip Kohlschreiber (Kohlschreiberheads), this could be our year.
The NBA Finals
Sure, we all wanted Kobe-LeBron, but the storylines involved with Lakers-Magic should be almost as interesting: How will the Lakers react to the tall shooters of the Magic? What does Orlando throw at Kobe defensively? Is there a worse-looking matchup if Pau Gasol switches onto Hedo Turkoglu at some point on defense?
It's one thing to reach 250 wins (as Moyer did Sunday), but it's another to do it as a 46-year-old pitcher still consistently contributing to a defending World Series champion. If nothing else, you have to hand it to him for piling up the victories with the distractions of both the Korean War and then the Cuban Missile Crisis looming over the country.
The Cavs' big man and former starter for the championship Pistons team appears to be considering retirement after 13 seasons. Wallace became known for his focus on winning defense, hair, team play, and an uncanny ability to get paid $14.5 million dollars this season for 2.9 PPG and 6.5 RPG. Actually, let's also add "the ability to hire an awesome agent" to his extensive list of talents.
Since The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien premieres Monday night, I'll use it as an excuse to post more video evidence of how great it is when Cone Zone mixes with the sports world. Evidently, the key is perfectly-formed leg muscles.
LeBron and Kobe Commercials
It's not that the commercials weren't good, it's just that maybe if you're Nike or Vitamin Water, you hold off on the full ad campaign a little while. On the bright side, if Game 6 of Cavs-Magic is brought up in a Nike commercial next year, they won't need to hire a voice-over actor for the LeBron puppet.
The Seattle Mariners
After a promising start, it looks like the Mariners are officially fading and now putting pretty much everyone on the trading block. Another blow to the sports city that just can't seem to catch a break. There's no real silver lining here ... well, except for the slight possibility of Jay Buhner dramatically getting back into shape, firing up the young guys, and convincing Ichiro to shave his head and grow a giant goatee while they make a playoff push. This is obviously a best-case scenario.
Ohio State Pitching
Granted, a 37-6 Florida State victory is probably an aberration when they're doing it against another team in the NCAA Regionals, but this looked to have been pretty gruesome. While trying to understand how such a lopsided game could happen, I scoured the Ohio State baseball page and -- you won't believe this -- but there isn't a single guy on the team named "Chien-Ming" or with the last name "Wang." I smell a cover-up.
The Grunts of Michelle Larcher de Brito
Clearly, Larcher de Brito is a capable, upcoming tennis player, but something peculiar happens every time she makes contact -- she lets out a shrill, insane screech that never seems to let up. At first listen, it may seem kind of cute and quirky, but after about four games, I'm pretty sure my neighbors thought somebody nearby was getting interrogated by Jack Bauer.
The Belmont Stakes
So there's no Preakness champ, mint juleps, or Southern women wearing crazy hats? At least tell me that Nick Lachey will be there. What? Really? What else is he doing? Sorry, I just can't bring myself to support a race that even former members of second-tier boy bands don't support. I'm sure you understand.
Dan Rubenstein hosts and produces the SI Tour Guy video series for SI.com and co-hosts The Solid Verbal college football podcast with SI.com's Ty Hildenbrandt. He can e-mailed here.