You’ve seen (and likely disagreed with) the Week 2 Power Rankings. Now the Sour Rankings take a spin through the worst of the past week in the NFL …
10. "The band is on the field!"
No, this was not Cal-Stanford. Carolina kicker Graham Gano wanted to get in a little extra work at halftime Sunday. One problem: Bethune-Cookman's band was performing when Gano trotted out onto the field.
(1/4) I just spoke with my friend Marquel Ballard from Bethune-Cookmans marching band and all is forgiven!— Graham Gano (@GrahamGano) September 8, 2014
9. Chris Bermannndthepuntisblocked!
Because the horrifying video showing Ray Rice hit his then-fiancée was released early Monday, ESPN's Monday Night Football announcers Trent Dilfer and Chris Berman were somewhat obligated to at least mention the situation during the Chargers-Cardinals game late that night. (Their discussion on the matter, in which they praised the NFL and the Ravens for acting so swiftly, missed the mark badly.)
The conversation ended abruptly when Berman interrupted himself because of a play on the field.
"There are those that need help right now. Get involved. The message is clear to anyone playing football, the message has to go way beyond AND THE PUNT IS BLOCKED! The punt is blocked by the Chargers!"
You can watch the play (and hear the call) below:
8. Mean tweets
Current and former NFL players finally had their turn in Jimmy Kimmel's "Mean Tweets" series -- a running part of Kimmel's show where he has famous people read critical tweets from fans.
A couple of them were gems, too. For example: "Michael Strahan's teeth are having a middle school dance where the boys stand on one side of the room and the girls stand on the other."
7. NFL cracks down on Greg Hardy ... for his face paint
Panthers DE Greg Hardy is awaiting trail for his appeal after being found guilty of assaulting his ex-girlfriend and threatening to kill her. The NFL has not yet acted on the initial verdict in the form of suspension, apparently choosing instead to wait for that appeal to be heard.
But the league wasted no time taking action where it really matters: on Greg Hardy's face paint. Under the NFL's uniform code, Hardy's "Kraken" face paint reportedly stands as a violation.
6. LeSean McCoy vs. PYT restaurant
Philadelphia burger joint PYT claimed Monday that Eagles running back LeSean McCoy had stiffed his waiter after a recent visit -- the restaurant posted a photo of the alleged receipt in question, with a 20-cent tip on a $61.56 bill, McCoy's name and signature included.
Only, it's probably not real. A Facebook user responded to PYT's initial photo by posting the same receipt charged to Sean Connery.
5. J.J. Watt needs a little help
The Texans recently made J.J. Watt the league's highest-paid defender with a $100 million contract extension ($51.8 million of it guaranteed). Apparently, Watt was a bit unprepared for his newfound wealthy lifestyle.
"I Googled, 'What do rich people buy?'" Watt told FOX's Laura Okmin. "Because I don’t feel like a rich person, and I don’t really try to act like a rich person, so I don’t know what they buy. I didn’t really like the stuff I saw, so I’m going stick with my humble lifestyle and just keep working out."
Three words, J.J.: Scrooge McDuck vault.
4. Joe Flacco's time-killer
Hard to argue with ya, Joe Flacco. The Ravens were very much in field goal range at the tail end of the first half, but decided to give Flacco one last crack at the end zone. Instead, Flacco ran around as all eight seconds ticked off the clock, then threw the ball into the turf as he was tripped up from behind. (GIF via CBSSports)
3. The Cowboys' home-field advantage
Niners fans are loud as hell at Jerry World pic.twitter.com/eq5pItObWD — Luke Zimmermann (@lukezim) September 7, 2014
Thousands upon thousands of 49ers fans flooded Cowboys Stadium on Sunday, turning what was Dallas' home opener into a veritable neutral-site game.
2. Josh McCown's fumblerooski interception
There were 25 interceptions thrown in Week 1, and this was the saddest. Late in the third quarter, Bucs' QB Josh McCown turned to fire a quick pass to Mike Evans. The ball slipped out of the Tampa Bay quarterback's hands ... then bounced right back into them, which set McCown up to turn the ball over in a different manner. (GIF via NotSportscenter)
1. Antonio Brown's kung-fu fighting
It was a reckless, dangerous play that deservedly earned Antonio Brown a 15-yard penalty. But it was awesome. What started as an apparent attempt by Brown to hurdle Cleveland punter Spencer Lanning during a return morphed into Brown delivering a black-belt level kick to Lanning's face.
Kudos to Lanning for taking it in stride:
Wait, wait, wait... When did this happen?!? pic.twitter.com/SzU9wDVx23— Spencer Lanning (@LanningSpencer) September 7, 2014