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Jed York: Standup Twitter Comedian

Let's Dissect Jed York's Tweets from the 2021 Draft
Chris Shaw|
Jed York: Standup Twitter Comedian
Jed York: Standup Twitter Comedian

The 49ers fanbase relationship with Jed York hasn't exactly been an enchanting one.

After taking over the team as CEO in December of 2008, Jed has led the 49ers franchise to 4 out of 12 winning seasons. He has had a "mutual parting of ways" with one of the most successful head coaches in NFL history, sticking instead with one of the more questionable general managers in the league. He then followed that up with two head coaching hires that would make the fans yearn for the days of Dennis Erickson. He's had awkward moments with the media, on Twitter, and with planes flying over Levi's, spreading anti-Jed propaganda. It has not been smooth sailings for the 49ers CEO to say the least.

The fans seem to cope with Jed because they have to. They love the 49ers, but not necessarily its owner. There isn't really one moment that one can point to and say, "Gee, I'm really happy that Jed came out to let us know his thoughts there." Fortunately, he has been less in the limelight since Kyle Shanahan and John Lynch came into town, so we don't get the privilege of hearing from Jed as much these days. So when he does poke his head out of the rabbit hole, it feels like a bit more of an event. Something special is happening here; Jed has appeared!

And what a time for Jed to appear! The 49ers are about to make their biggest draft selection in years and out of nowhere, here comes Jed York to let us all know about it (and hopefully make some brand new friends in the process). Oh goodie. Well, at least his hashtag is interesting and original. #DraftDay

He starts out of the gates here pretty much as expected, extremely weak and dull. Good job plugging Good Morning Football, an NFL Network hosted show. Step it up, Jed. I'm already losing interest.

Okay, you threw me a curveball there, Jed. Wasn't expecting you to be attempting a bit of humor. Even if the joke was a bit corny and on the nose, I can appreciate the attempt. Either way, please just knock it off and let the 49ers and their fans have their moment today.

In fairness, this is actually #GoodAdvice and I can't knock him for this one. I actually tell my own chauffeur the same thing when he's driving me around town, so I'm happy that Jed does the same. We're just a couple of fancy individuals that prefer our personal drivers to stay safe on the road. Maybe we do have more in common than I thought.

I guess his chauffer took his advice and put down the phone. Thank goodness for that. Is he going to chronicle literally everything he does this evening? Please keep any bathroom breaks to yourself, Jed.

Look at Jed being cheeky here. John and Kyle are in on the big secret of the night, but are keeping it so close to their chests that they won't even let the owner of the team know! You and me both, Jed. Man, why can't they just let us into the cool kids club and give us a hint? 

Did Jed just use self-deprecating humor? Am I actually having a laugh at something that man put out there? What is going here? Okay, this was very unexpected, but Jed York putting out a tweet that calls himself out for his own poor decision making from the mid-2010s has me actually respecting him a bit. I don't like this feeling; I'm not supposed to like Jed. Let's continue in hopes that he reverts back to the bumbling caricature that I have him pictured as in my head.

Jed running laps in his tight fitting suit was not the first thing I imagined myself thinking about on draft day, but wait, is he trying to give hints about the player the 49ers will be drafting with those numbers? All of these numbers directly correlate with the quarterbacks that the 49ers could have potential interest in obtaining: Justin Fields #1, Trey Lance #5, Mac Jones #10, Aaron Rodgers #12, Trevor Lawrence #16, and Zach Wilson #1. He's trolling us. Jed York, the CEO of the 49ers is literally trolling us all. Well played, Jed. You win this round.

More self-deprecating humor! This Jed guy is great. I'd love to hang out with him. If he's anything like this in person, we'd end up just as a couple overweight middle-aged best buds sharing stories about how we worked our way up the corporate food chain to the top. All the poor decision making from Jed's past are forgiven. Let me text you my number and we'll make plans.

Good one, Jed. The 49ers are about to have to turn in their pick and you're continuing to troll the fanbase. I'm more impressed by your dedication to this bit tonight than your ability to alienate the entire fanbase in the decade prior.

Did he just make a Seinfeld reference? Yes, it's true, Jed York just made a reference to my favorite TV show of all time. What are these conflicting emotions I am starting to feel? How is this possible? Jed is supposed to be everything wrong about the 49ers franchise. He was the one that drove the organization into the ground by muddling in the football operations. He was the one that kicked Jim Harbaugh out of town. He was the one that hired Jim Tomsula and thought that was a solid decision. I can't believe I'm saying this, but he is really turning me with this performance tonight. Forget the draft, I want more Jed tweets.

920 is a Wisconsin area code. Now he's making light of the Aaron Rodgers drama that broke. This guy is great. He should quit his day job and go into comedy. He sure seems much better at this than anything else I've seen him do.

The 49ers are on the clock and the power is supposedly out, but not out enough to prevent him to get that tweet out. Luckily for us, the 49ers can't get their selection in due to the lack of working phones, so we can't blame them for screwing up the first round pick this year. Hopefully Goodell just goes up and announces Mac Jones. Fingers crossed.

Dang it, Jed. You tricked me with the last tweet. Turns out the phones and power were working just fine. It was really fun getting to know a side of you tonight that I never knew existed. Admittedly, I do have to look at you in a different light now and I feel like there is a lot to be gained in having outsiders to the 49ers inner brass get to know the real you. Perhaps this can be a regular thing and we can hangout again sometime? Call me?

Ah, man. He's back to being lame again. Nevermind and let's actually scratch my last thought. Let's just continue our current relationship as two individuals that are forced into tolerating one another. Until next time, Jed.

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Chris Shaw
CHRIS SHAW

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