This freak show 2025 NFL mock draft makes zero sense

Over the last six-ish weeks, I’ve banged out 427 NFL mock drafts. Give or take.

It’s been quite the journey—i.e., re: the Chicago Bears’ picks, I’ve migrated from Kelvin Banks Jr., to Ashton Jeanty, to Tyler Warren, and it’s only a matter of time before I pick Dick Butkus—but today, a mere eight days before the actual 2025 NFL Draft, I’m taking a sharp left.

And this part of the journey will have me delivering the weirdest, most illogical pretend draft of the cycle, a 10-pick mock loaded with big swings, garbage positional fits, and an inflated number of quarterbacks.

Mind you, this is not what I think will happen. This is not what I think should happen.

But...what if it does?

1) Tennessee Titans

Abdul Carter, EDGE, Penn State

Level of Craziness: 2.5

The Skinny: Nobody would be surprised if, come 2027, Carter is considered the 2025 Draft’s best player.

But the Titans need a quarterback way more than they need an EDGE, so passing on Cam Ward is straight-up goofy, especially considering how the next nine picks will shake out.

2) Cleveland Browns

Shedeur Sanders, QB, Colorado

Level of Craziness: 7.5

The Skinny: The Browns need a quarterback, so on the surface, this one kinda-sorta makes sense, especially considering that some pundits comp Sanders to failed Browns signal caller Deshaun Watson.

But passing on the more polished Ward ramps up the strangeness factor. (Considering the Browns need a replacement for running back Nick Chubb, Ashton Jeanty should also be in the mix.)

3) New York Giants

Ashton Jeanty, RB, Boise State

Level of Craziness: 3.5

The Skinny: Newsflash: Saquon Barkley will never again be seen in a Giants uniform. Other newsflash: the Giants running back room (Tyrone Tracy Jr? Devin Singletary?) isn’t awesome. Other newsflash: Jeanty would solidify a position that’s in need of some serious solidification.

Strange but not strange, amirite?

4) New England Patriots

Tyler Warren, TE, Penn State

Level of Craziness: 8

The Skinny: How much fun would it be to see Drake Maye have his very own Travis Kelce?

Okay, Warren isn’t Travis Kelce, but when he was drafted with the 65th pick of the 2013 Draft, was Travis Kelce Travis Kelce? Yeah, not so much.

5) Jacksonville Jaguars

Omarion Hampton, RB, North Carolina

Level of Craziness: 9

The Skinny: Travis Etienne and Tank Bigsby make for a delicious one/two running back punch, but what if the Jags decided that a one/two/three plan makes even more sense?

Wishbone backfield, anyone?

6) Las Vegas Raiders

Cam Ward, QB, Miami

Level of Craziness: 8.5

The Skinny: Is Geno Smith really the answer? Nah. Dude’ll turn 35 in October, his 2025 cap hit is $40 million, and he’s played in a grand total of one career playoff game.

Ward is the safest QB in the draft, and it’d be nice to have him in the house on a rookie contract, so let the Miami product sit for a year behind Smith…or at least until Smith starts the season with a record of 2-6.

7) New York Jets

Jaxson Dart, QB, Mississippi

Level of Craziness: 9.5

The Skinny: I’ve seen Justin Fields play a whole lot of NFL football, and while he’s a mind-blowing athlete and a fine human being, he’s not a Super Bowl quarterback.

Can Jaxson Dart haul a professional football team to the Promised Land? Welp, he’s been comped to Jalen Hurts who, if you’ll recall, is currently residing in said Promised Land.

7) Carolina Panthers

Jihaad Campbell, LB, Alabama

Level of Craziness: 8.5

The Skinny: Traditionally speaking, the Panthers are super-bad at roster building, the sort of team who would take a flyer on the best player at the draft’s thinnest position.

Maybe Campbell will be this season’s version of Jared Verse. But knowing the Panthers' scouting department, probably not.

9) New Orleans Saints

Jalen Milroe, QB, Alabama

Level of Craziness 351.7

The Skinny: Derek Carr’s career might be over, and Shedeur Sanders is off of our board, and the Saints are in desperate need of a quarterback, as Spencer Rattler ain’t the answer.

Milroe’s ceiling might be Lamar Jackson, but his floor might be JaMarcus Russell, thus the off-the-charts craziness level.

10) Chicago Bears

Matthew Golden, WR, Texas

Level of Craziness: 6.5

The Skinny: Remember last year’s draft, when everybody in the football world was convinced Marvin Harrison Jr. was going to be a Hall of Famer, while Brian Thomas Jr. was going to be a mid-level WR1? Turned out to be an Opposite Day situation in which Thomas was the beast and Harrison was the very-good-but-not-very-great option.

In a Ben Johnson offense, Golden—a blurry-fast downfield threat who plays with an Amon-Ra St. Brown-sized chip on his shoulder—will be in next season’s Offensive Rookie of the Year conversation.

Bonus Weirdness

Here are a few high-level draftees who weren't selected in our freak show:

Will Campbell, OT, LSU

Mason Graham, DT, Michigan

Travis Hunter, WR/CB, Colorado

Armand Membou, OT, Missouri

Jalon Walker, EDGE, Georgia

Teremos 17 prospectos no Green Room para o dia 1 do Draft!

Algum vai cair para o dia 2? 👀

📷 @NFL pic.twitter.com/xgGYW4bS7e
— Landing Zone | NFL (@LandingZoneBR) April 14, 2025

If this bizarro world mock became a reality, we'd be looking at one bummed out green room.