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Ezekiel Elliott vs. Jalen Ramsey: Cowboys NFL Draft Mistake?

Jerry Jones going soft, Rangers name legit Opening Day starter, Luka out-trending LeBron and the joy of being grilled by 7th-graders, all in this week's DFW sports notebook.

 WHITT’S END: 4.1.22

Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

*We all love “Reckless” and “Wildcat” Jerry Jones, the money-makin’, risk-takin’ owner of the Dallas Cowboys who would do anything and spend everything to get his team a Super Bowl

Fire Tom Landry? Done. 

Trade away Herschel Walker? Yep. 

Trade for Charles Haley and Pacman Jones? Cringe, but indeed. 

Sign high-profile free agents such as Jay Novacek, Deion Sanders and Terrell Owens? LFG! 

Um, where’d he go? 

For years the Dallas Mavericks – and owner Mark Cuban – have been the punchline of y’all-never-ever-land-big-free-agents jokes. But this offseason the Cowboys were the last NFL team to sign a free agent from another club, and it came in the form of depth receiver James Washington. Relatively speaking, y-a-w-n. Or should we? 

By my math, the last big-money, big-name non-Cowboys free agent that the owner formerly known as “Reckless Jerry” (funny - he referred to himself that way in a Video Visit with Fish this week in Florida) signed was in 2012: Cornerback Brandon Carr. 

That didn’t exactly work, so maybe in his advanced “wisdom” (he’ll be 80 in October), Jones is these days more gun-shy. Or, more likely, the Cowboys have so backed themselves into a salary-cap corner that their biggest splashes have to come from re-signing their own players and hoping Jabril Cox can be a cheaper replica of Bobby Wagner

Don’t know about you, but “Careful Jerry” and “Pussycat Jerry” just hits different.

*Luka is better than LeBron. You heard me. 

At least, that is, when it comes to the first four years of their NBA careers. 

If you wanna get technical, James averaged more points (26.7-26.3) and had more All-Star Game MVPs (1-0) than Doncic, and just as many Rookie-of-the-Year awards (1) and All-Star appearances (3). But – with his 2022 season and postseason unfinished – Luka’s first four seasons have been more productive than LeBron’s in All-NBA first teams (2-1), triple-doubles (46-10), rebounds (8.5-6.7) and assists (7.9-6.4). The tipping point: In his fourth season, LeBron pushed the Cleveland Cavaliers to 50 wins and the NBA Finals; Luka has taken to the Mavs to 48 wins and TBD. 

Though he’ll hopefully play a part in changing his own mind down the road, for now Mavs coach Jason Kidd says LeBron is better … than everyone. 

“I think he’ll go down as the greatest to do it,” Kidd said this week. “When you look at LeBron’s numbers – what he’s done on and off the floor – nobody has done that. When you put the whole package together, he’s the greatest of all-time.”

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*Quick, name the Texas Rangers’ Opening Day starter last season. Yeah, didn’t think so. 

Diluting one of baseball’s most important and coveted honors, the Rangers’ recent Opening Day pitchers have fallen flat into anonymity. Right, Kyle Gibson (2020)? And you too, Yovani Gallardo (2015) and Tanner Scheppers (2014).

During their time in Arlington, the Rangers have given the ball to legitimate aces such as Cole Hamels (2018), Yu Darvish (2017), Kevin Millwood (2009), Kenny Rogers (2004), Nolan Ryan (1992), Fergie Jenkins (1979) and Bert Blyleven (1977). When I think of the worst starter it has to be Chan Ho Park (2002), while the best is Charlie Hough and his franchise-best six Opening Day starts and three victories. 

This year will likely be somewhere in between as new No. 1 Jon Gray makes the first pitch April 8 in Toronto. The Rangers gave him $56 million to be their lead horse, and with two Opening Day starts with the Colorado Rockies under his belt the moment won’t be too big.

Question is, will we remember his name a year from now?

*From 2000-09, I raised my step-son on sports. Coached him as much as I could. Tennis. Soccer. Basketball. Golf. The works. This week he turned 25 and not only is he a good man, he’s a dang good golfer. Waiting patiently for my commission checks from his winnings.

*With the luxury of hindsight, the Cowboys shouldn’t have lied to Jalen Ramsey. Instead, in 2016 they should have drafted him. Yes, even over former two-time NFL rushing champ Ezekiel Elliott. Can you imagine Ramsey and Trevon Diggs in the same secondary?

*Tell me again how Doncic isn’t even in the NBA’s MVP conversation?

He currently has only the fourth-best odds, behind the Denver Nuggets’ Nikola Jokic, Joel Embiid of the Philadelphia 76ers and the Milwaukee Bucks’ Giannis Antetokounmpo. Look at it this way: The Mavs have more wins than each of those teams. And the guy who was supposed to be Luka's best teammate – Kristaps Porzingis – now plays in Washington, where Friday night he’ll be the enemy. 

Doncic has done more with less than any player in the league. And, as much as I love watching him play, don’t bring that Ja Morant stuff in here. Without him in uniform this season, the Memphis Grizzlies are 19-2. Without Luka the Mavs are 8-9.

*Wait, a former Maverick wants to emulate a former Cowboy? Having heard both on TV, Vince Carter has a lonnnnng way to go before he’s Tony Romo.

*Final Bore. I’m likely in the minority – admittedly grumpy because my bracket promised Purdue would win the title – but nothing stimulating about a blue-bloods Final Four headlined by college basketball's been-there-done-that and the swan song of a Hall-of-Fame coach. For the final time I’ll ask: How the heck is Krzyzewski pronounced “shuh-SHEFF-skee”? Gotta be the most dysfunctional spelling/pronunciation in sports history. In DFW we couldn’t ever even get Dirk’s “no-WIT-skee” correct.

*Last year my brother’s townhouse burned to the ground. Last week, his long-time partner’s car was stolen. Here’s where it gets really frustrating: Neither the Dallas Police Department nor OnStar lifted a pinky in helping them get the car back. 

Short(ish) version: Brother’s beau somehow throws the keys to his car out with the trash and someone (likely a dumpster-diving homeless dude) finds them. After some amateur snooping and the help of eyewitnesses who saw a man bragging about his “new car”, he pinpoints who he believes has it. The suspect, however, pleads ignorance other than offering a hypothetical “what if the guy who stole your car just parks it somewhere and leaves it?” Beau tells police, who respond with a shrug and “Well, that’s just hearsay …” 

No kidding! Isn’t most professional detective work fueled by the cunning tracking of “hearsay''?

OnStar was similarly useless. Brother pays a monthly fee to the company that claims to “provide subscription-based communications, in-vehicle security, emergency services, hands-free calling, turn-by-turn navigation, and remote diagnostics systems.” But when alerted to the stolen car, OnStar (virtually) shrugs and says “we can’t locate it.” Apparently if the car is parked under anything of substance – like a garage or bridge or perhaps a blossoming tree – the system draws a blank. Fortunately, the thief indeed parks the car and leaves it, in a place where it gets towed and, in the process, recognized as stolen. Beau gets his car back, relatively unscathed. 

Moral to the story: Don’t throw your keys in the trash. Selectively Back the Blue. Oh, and cancel OnStar. Pronto.

*Hot.

*Not.

*Thanks to CBS’ Greg Gumbel for confirming my recent opinion that NFL TV announcers are grossly overrated/overpaid

Echoed the long-time network NFL studio host in response to this off-season’s bonkers booth bonanza: “I’ve never felt in my entire life there is an announcer who can bring someone to the TV set to watch a game that that viewer wasn’t already going to watch,” Gumbel said. “All the way back to the days of Pat Summerall and John Madden. Pat and John were terrific. … But how can you not be terrific when you’re doing Giants-Cowboys, Bears-Packers, Rams-49ers, Eagles-Giants? No offense to anyone calling games, but Moe, Larry, and Curly can do a good football game.” 

Amen. More proof: In wake of Joe Buck leaving to join Troy Aikman on ESPN, Fox is promoting Kevin Burkhardt as its No. 1 NFL play-by-play voice. You may have loved Buck. You may be clueless about Burkhardt. But Fox will broadcast two of the next three Super Bowls. You’re telling me you’re not going to watch because your favorite booth won’t be calling the game? Hog. Wash.

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*When I read that Luka is a fan of the “Rangers.” I figured it was the Scottish soccer-playing Glasgow Rangers. But, nope, apparently he’s a supporter of our local baseball squad. Even wore a Rangers cap during his post-game press conference after Wednesday’s win in Cleveland.

*Despite recent attacks from America’s leaders on the “fake news” media and so-called “enemy of the people”, it was refreshing this week to speak with a classroom crammed with ambitious journalism students at Highland Park Middle School. Pretty sure I learned more from them – clearly gotta ramp up my TikTok game – than vice-versa. Watch two future ESPN Sportscenter anchors grill me good right here.

*Good morning to Rick Carlisle, the eternally surly first-year coach of the 25-52, Lottery-bound Indiana Pacers. Without him, his old Mavs are 48-29 and currently the No. 3 seed in the Western Conference playoff standings.

*Cowboys kinda sorta tried to keep Greg Zuerlein. But good riddance, I say. Despite his abundant leg strength, he made only five of 14 field goals longer than 50 yards and failed to crack my Top 10 All-Time Cowboys Kickers.

*If you’re into a different sort of game(s), meander – no, run – down to West Village in Dallas Thursday Noon-4 p.m. for The Price is Right!’s “Come On Down” tour. Celebrating the show’s 50th anniversary, the tour affords fans the opportunity to play games like Plinko, win prizes in a locally-themed Showcase Showdown, and enter for a chance to win a grand prize of $50,000. Sorry, no Bob Barker.

*Watching Mavs-Lakers this week and spotted Boban Marjanović wearing a T-shirt that read “Small Blankets Suck.” Funny, but what the what?! Seems the gentle, 7-foot-4 giant that hates “rings” on those State Farm commercials is now promoting really, really big blankets. Maybe it can double as a cover for his car?

*Will Smith 1, Chris Rock 0, TV advertisers 0. Not only did American TV viewers not get to fully see - or hear - The Oscars “slap” live, companies paid $2.2 million for a 30-second spot on the otherwise drab show. For a smidge more, they could’ve bought time during the AFC or NFC Championships Game, which both delivered more female viewers than The Oscars drew in total viewers.

(Aside: Is calling someone "G.I. Jane" really an insult worthy of violent retort?)

*Won’t deny that giving both teams a possession is a step in the right direction for NFL overtime rules. But I’ll also continue to demand that we’re too intelligent and analytically advanced to let any sports outcome be determined – even in the most minuscule way – by something as trivial and archaic as a coin flip. It’s a playoff game. The home team gets the ball first. Simple. Give regular-season success more clout, and eradicate coins from our championships.

*Another new local millionaire, courtesy of the Texas Lottery. A McKinney resident walked into the Kwik Shop on Highway 380 last week, bought an “Instant Millionaire” scratch-off ticket and – buhzeenga!had their life change in a, well, instant.

*Are you into semi-athletic folks who double as tremendous fakers? Then I suggest Friday morning you head to The Star’s Ford Center in Frisco for “WrestleMania Talent Tryouts.” More than 50 recent college graduates will compete to earn a job in the WWE soap opera. You could not pay me to attend WrestleMania 38 this weekend at AT&T Stadium, but apparently there a lot of folks who believe it’s authentic. And entertaining. 

I’d rather watch a replay of the Cowboys’ Wild Card loss to the San Francisco 49ers, and I definitely do not want to watch a replay of the Cowboys’ Wild Card loss to the San Francisco 49ers.

*Important career announcement: Hope you enjoyed this episode of Whitt’s End, because it’s my final one. Yep, after 40 years – I started writing a column under this name as a junior on the newspaper staff of Panther Prints at Duncanville High School in 1981 – I’ve finally run out of words. What will I do next? Hmm. Maybe play golf, travel, dunno. Just know I’m tired of the weekly grind of covering and capturing and communicating all things DFW in this space. Been a good run, but it’s over. Time for something different. You can check out my new endeavor … right here.

*As the kids say, you’ve been – on April Fool’s Day – “RickRoll’d.” Who am I kidding? I already golf, play tennis, travel and get to write about sports and life for a living. Feel like I’ve been “retired” since I was 22. See ya here next week ... and beyond.

*This Weekend? Friday let’s play tennis. Saturday let’s – if we must – watch Coach K’s Final Four. Sunday, just for fun, let’s sucker-slap a friend in the face on video and see if it goes viral. As always, don’t be a stranger.