Trinidadian Defender Elton John Signs With HFX Wanderers

This Elton John was born after the other Elton John had released 20 albums.

I remember when the Canadian Premier League was young. 

Well, actually, the league is just about to start it’s inaugural season but I couldn’t think of a better Elton John reference to use as the lead to this post. 

Why Elton John? Because the HFX Wanderers (that’s short for Halifax, for anyone not familiar with the Canadian Maritimes) just announced the signing of Elton John—the 31-year-old Trinidadian defender and midfielder, not the 71-year-old English musician. 

John the soccer player has spent most of his career in his native country, along with a brief stint playing for a third-tier Belgian club that went bankrupt. He is one of four players from Trinidad & Tobago whose signings were announced by HFX on Thursday. 

I have no idea what John is like as a player (he makes some decent passes in the highlight tape he posted on YouTube, which is, disappointingly, not set to the music of Elton John) but I do know that he’s a boon to headline writers at Nova Scotian newspapers. Imagine all the Elton John songs that could be repurposed to apply to Wanderers games. Elton John clears a ball off the line: “Someone Saved My Life Tonight.” Elton John surrenders an own goal: “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.” Elton John transfers to another club: “Circle of Life.”