(Video via WIAT-42 CBS Birmingham)
Nick Saban doesn't have time to read magazines. Don't you understand?
The Alabama coach was asked on Wednesday to react to this week's Sports Illustrated cover, which features Crimson Tide quarterback AJ McCarron. Naturally, Saban had absolutely no clue what the reporter was referring to.
"Do you think I sit around all day looking at magazines or what? I don't even know what you're talking about.
"You ask a question every week that I don't know anything about. You need to come here and walk around and follow me around for like a week. I haven't seen a newspaper today, I don't know what's happening in the world.
"I watch the Weather Channel for 10 minutes in the morning while I have a cup of coffee so I know what the weather's going to be so we can practice inside or outside.
"Other than that, I really can't answer your question because I have no knowledge of any of it."
Eventually, Saban got around to complimenting his two-time BCS title-winning quarterback. But he wasn't finished ranting.
"I'm happy for AJ and I'm sure he looks great.
"What did you ask me about the other day? Something came out like I was supposed to be right on the edge of my seat ... like that's all I've got to worry about."
The moral of this press conference: Reading, being up to date on current events and dealing with stupid reporters are not part of The Process. Knowing that it's partly cloudy outside with a 30 percent chance of precipitation starting at 4:30 p.m. ET is.
And, of course, Saban made the Weather Channel happy with his choice of programming.