Wednesday October 15th, 2014

Following an overwhelmingly successful first season starring Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey, HBO original series True Detective tapped Vince Vaughn and Colin Farrell to take over the leading roles in the anthology crime drama. As season two begins shooting for its 2015 premiere date, let’s ponder what athletes might be able to fill the detective shoes for season three.

Wes Welker and DeSean Jackson

​ Two veteran NFL receivers, Wes Welker and DeSean Jackson would be a match made in heaven as the emotionally complex detectives. The undersized, yet immensely talented and fiery pair will thrive off Jackson’s go big or go home approach and Welker’s subtle heat to dominate opposing figures.

John Daly and Bubba Watson

​ John Daly might not be rolling with as much swagger as he did in his party days, but the 2-time PGA Tour major winner still brings a lot of firepower to any situation. Plus, there’s so much character back-story to explore. In an effort to compliment that bluster, the ever-popular, yet oftentimes controversial, Bubba Watson will roll alongside as the bitter, witty and emotionally-charged partner. Plus, it'll really spice up the costume department.

Jonathan Papelbon and Yadier Molina

The MLB duo of Jonathan Papelbon and Yadier Molina doesn’t lack finesse, passion or brawny personality and could efficiently coerce a feast of conspirators. Talk about dramatic tension: these guys have been known to add a little sizzle to heated situations, and they have zero trouble expressing their true feelings. You know the ol' Good-Cop Bad-Cop routine? This would be Bad-Cop Bad-Cop.

 

Venus and Serena Williams

The Williams sisters are made of muscle and could beat up just about any criminal. Plus, you'd get an awesome family backstory that would be a whole new dynamic to the show -- Venus doesn't trust Serena after Christmas '92, and Serena is mad that Venus is the only match for a liver donation, but Venus refuses to donate (in this universe, Serena is suffering from liver failure. Fighting crime makes you turn to alcohol real fast). Oh also they can hit perps with tennis rackets.

Nick Saban and Lane Kiffin

Extra Mustard
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The jury is still out on the new, highly-debated relationship between Alabama’s Nick Saban and Lane Kiffin. Their success will likely be measured, fair or not, exclusively on titles. These two gentlemen have been given absurdly unrealistic expectations in Tuscaloosa and would face the same dilemma chasing down thieves, murderers and accomplices on True Detective, but we can all agree that it would be extraordinary entertainment.

Patrick Roy and Matt Cooke

Second-year Colorado Avalanche head coach Patrick Roy approaches his day job like an All-American hoss with an insistent willingness to terrify opposing teams with aggressive late-game tactics. His partner in crime will be Minnesota Wild enforcer Matt Cooke, an imposing man widely considered one of the dirtiest, yet curiously savvy, players in the NHL.

Chris Andersen and Chris Bosh

​ It's unclear how much real detective work would get done with Chris Andersen and Chris Bosh behind the wheel, but there would certainly be no lack of high-emotion moments from the quirky Miami Heat teammates.


Follow Extra Mustard on Twitter and Facebook. Andrew Doughty is a writer for Next Impulse Sports

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