Saturday January 2nd, 2016

After falling to the Miami Heat 106–82 on Friday, Rick Carlisle was incredibly honest with reporters in Miami when asked about his team’s offensive showing

“We couldn’t hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle,” Carlisle said.

The Mavericks shot an unsightly 36.4% from the field, and managed just 10 points in the first quarter. Dirk Nowitzki was just 4-of-14, and Chandler Parsons converted on two of his eight shot attempts. Nothing would go down.

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It’s not the first time Carlisle has sculpted a masterpiece of a sentence. In September, when he was asked if almost-Maverick DeAndre Jordan would have fixed the team’s rebounding, he said “If cows were kittens, there’d be a milk shortage.”

This poor offensive outing comes on the heels of a 114–91 win over the Warriors on Wednesday, which marked the second loss all season for Golden State. While the Warriors were without the electric Stephen Curry, the Mavericks weren’t only taking advantage of a shorthanded opponent. They shot 51.2% from the field, and had six players in double figures.

Dallas hosts the struggling New Orleans Pelicans at 8:30 p.m. ET on Saturday.

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