Bey, Tay and N.W.A.: Extra Mustard’s Super Bowl halftime suggestions

Wednesday September 9th, 2015

It has been reported that the NFL is looking to bring back Bruno Mars to perform at halftime of Super Bowl 50. While the pop star did a commendable job when he headlined the festivities during Super Bowl XLVIII, Extra Mustard has some better ideas for who should get the slot this year.

Taylor Swift

Christopher Polk/TAS/Getty Images

Taylor Swift is currently Earth’s most famous human, and she also happens to be a mega-platinum recording artist, so this seems like it would be a natural fit for the year’s most viewed broadcast. Plus it feels like a natural extension of her ongoing rivalry with Super Bowl XLIV star Katy Perry. The only reason the NFL may not have offered it to Tay is she may be one of the few stars big enough to turn the slot down.

Beyoncé (feat. Prince)

If the league is comfortable double dipping on past performers, why not bring back Queen Bey, who received many accolades for her performance during Super Bowl XLVII. And who better to accompany her with the now standard “surprise” guest appearance than fellow former headliner Prince?

N.W.A & Wu-Tang Clan

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The NFL has traditionally stayed pretty far away from hip-hop despite its massive role in the culture. Perhaps the success of Straight Outta Compton will encourage the league to change its ways and get the west coast group together for a co-headling slot with Staten Island’s Wu-Tang Clan, featuring holographic cameos from Eazy-E and Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

Southern University’s Human Jukebox

The NFL could have the best of both worlds by choosing Southern University’s always impressive Human Jukebox band. You get all the hits of today along with the traditionalism of a halftime marching band. 

Let Tom Brady knock an apple off Roger Goodell’s head with a football

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Here is the set up: You get a corporate sponsor or the league to put up $5 million, chump change in Super Bowl money. If Brady can successfully knock an apple (or NFL sponsor Bud Light or Pepsi can) off the head of Roger Goodell, the money goes to charity. It would be absolute must-see television.

Kansas State Marching Band

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What could go wrong with a wholesome marching band from the heartland of America?

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