Eight Sights From Day 1 at the PGA, From an NBA Trophy (?) to Genius Bryson and Viktor Hovland's Crazy Shirt
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The Van Cynical Report brings you assorted things you should know about the PGA Championship’s opening round Thursday …
(Despite what the editor says, it is O.K. to Venmo me money directly.)
Chill or be chilled: A frost delay of 1 hour, 50 minutes is the reason you’ll likely be able to watch PGA Championship action Saturday morning instead of cartoons or The Banana Splits. (That show is still on, right?)
The delay meant the first round didn’t finish Thursday, spilled over into Friday and could cause the second round to run into Saturday morning before the 36-hole cut can be made. But the frost doesn’t mean the PGA should never go back to Oak Hill. Did you see the course? This place is better than it’s ever been. It’s worth the risk and the gloves and the hoodies and hand-warmers.
Today’s happy news: There will be no frost delays the rest of the weekend.
Why you should beware of Bryson: Yes, former U.S. Open champ Bryson DeChambeau looks different, having shed who knows how many pounds and layers of cocoonery? His opening 66 gave him the clubhouse lead Thursday. Here’s how you know Bryson The Genius is back on his game:
Media question: What did you find that’s allowed you to hit it straighter?
Bryson: How do I explain this easy? I’m just in a place where I’m more ulnar.
Obviously, enough said.
The backup plan: Well, there isn’t one, really. Let’s just say that the drivable par-4, known in the old days as a bitchin’ par-3, is one of the bad ideas/trends in modern golf. All it does is slow down play, much like all the reachable-in-two par-5s. Plus, the drivable par-4 runs counter to the USGA’s plan to bifurcate the ball and reign it in. So it was utterly predictable that a multi-group pileup would happen at the 14th tee, which played 297 yards uphill to the front edge Thursday. It wasn’t drivable for many but a lot of players could come close, which would disturb those trying to putt on the green. Hence, groups on the tee began to be waved up by those on the green.
Ryan Fox shot 68 and was flirting with the lead when he came to 14 and was iced for 20 minutes or more. It didn’t help that the 14th tee and the 1st tee are close together and play has to be staggered. “It was just horrendously slow,” said Fox. “There were two groups waiting on the tee when we got there. It felt almost like a new round started on 14 for us.”
The Foxy solution to kill the waiting time? “I mean, I just talked crap with everybody on the tee.”
The opposite of good: It was a big deal when Spain’s Jon Rahm bounced back from an opening-hole four-putt double bogey to win the Masters in April. Thursday, he birdied his first hole but shot 76. If the world’s No. 1 player is able to recover from that to get in contention on the weekend, it would be a Herculean feat (if Hercules was Spanish and his name was Severiano). Tip: Don’t take that bet.
A message from Captain Aerosol: Keep an eye on Rory McIlroy in the second round but seriously, this is exactly how you go nine years without winning another major. You show up at Oak Hill, where the course is mostly unplayable out of the rough, and you hit 2 of 14 fairways despite being one of the top players in the game. Rory McIlroy played his Northern Irish off to shoot only a 71. It could’ve been worse. All right, I’ll say it—it should’ve been worse. It all turned around (or did the bleeding simply stop?) when he chipped in for par from behind the second green (his 11th hole of the day) when he seemed sure to fall to 4 over par or worse with the pending bogey or worse. He finally made a couple of birdies on the front after that and salvaged a total disaster, which is way worse than a partial disaster.
Rory said if he goes on to do well (sorry, I’m not seeing it after that display) that 2nd hole was the turning point: “It was massive.” We’ll see. Rory also isn’t feeling well and said, “I’m fighting something.” And he didn’t mean Greg Norman. (I don’t think.)
Hoops there it is!: I was standing in the media interview area by player scoring, minding my own business (O.K., I wasn’t), when two guys walked past carrying the NBA trophy under a large tree and kept going in the general direction of the merchandise tent. What in hell’s name is the NBA trophy doing at a golf tournament in Rochester, N.Y.? Apparently it had something to do with the Rochester Royals winning the 1951 NBA title over the Bad News Bears or somebody but it had even more to do with PGA of America social media nonsense. Social media? Just send me a fax …
Viktor Hovland's first-round shirt defied description.
Aaron Doster/USA TODAY Sports
Shirt happens: We can retire the trophy for 2023 already. First, Viktor Hovland tees off at the Masters wearing some kind of green and red Christmas rodeo polo or something. It had to have come from the Land of Misfit Clothes. Thursday, Norway’s Greatest Golfer Ever wore another shirt that defied description except that it was bright orange and yellow and streaky and resembled what the baby would look like if the parents were The Sun and Molten Lava. While you think, “Great Caesar’s Ghost, what is he going to wear Friday?,” laugh all you want, Viktor doesn’t care any more now than he did in April. And he gave a similar answer to a Real Media question (tricking the media into asking about your garb is the ultimate shrewd social media move): “J. Lindeberg, they give me this stuff and pay me money so I just show up and wear what they want me to wear.” Wait, a golfer is in this for the money?
Layers of meaning: As expected, Japan’s Higa Kazuki was not only running away with the 2023 PGA Championship in the early going, he was briefly (prematurely) on 59 Watch. All he did was birdie four of his first five holes. He attributed it to a hot putter. Kazuki shot 40 on his second nine, however, and finished with a commendable 72. He added some delightful quotes about the frost delay that were fun and while not perfect grammar, everyone knew exactly what he meant: “I thought I was going to play in very cold weather. I felt lucky I was able to play a little big high temperature than I predicted. I had three clothes on but I was able to play with two clothes on so that felt better.” A tip of the visor to Kazuki and anyone who can speak more than one language.