UNSUPPORTED BROWSER
Extra Mustard

As These 23 Facts Prove, Tim Duncan Is Actually the Most Entertaining Man in the NBA

duncan_600 Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Most of us are probably guilty of taking Tim Duncan for granted. He’s sort of like a smartphone: Though we should constantly be amazed by the incredible things he does, at this point he’s just an ordinary part of our existence. Sixteen years of remarkably consistent play will do that.

But despite what some would have you believe, consistent doesn’t mean boring. Tim Duncan is one of the most nuanced and weirdly hilarious players in the NBA. He’s a riot. After all, you can’t spell The Big Fundamental without Big Fun. To help him get more of the appreciation he deserves, here are 23 very important facts about Tim Duncan.


1. He dresses like a kindergartner.

duncanbackpack


2. He somehow makes outlet passes seem sexy.


3. This is how he looks when he wins awards.

rookieofyear


4. He knows some good poems about meat.


5. Sometimes he smells fans through the TV.

duncansniff


6. He really likes to surf the ‘net.

At least that’s what he says in this Q&A on his personal website, SlamDuncan.com.


7. You read that correctly. SlamDuncan.com.

Incredible, right?

Screen shot 2013-05-29 at 11.33.26 AM


8. He trolls people who deserve to be trolled.

via @cjzero


9. Joey Crawford once ejected him for laughing …


10. … but he still managed to get the last laugh.

Even if everybody else's laughter was of the uncomfortable variety.

crawford


11. It’s almost impossible to get under his skin, but when you do, he flips you off in the CVS parking lot.


12. After the Spurs swept the Clippers in the 2012 conference semis, he hung out with Chris Paul’s son so he wouldn’t be sad.


13. He’s unabashedly nerdy …

He’s an infamous dorkwad, with hobbies ranging from sword collecting to Dungeons & Dragons.

duncan_dragons


14. … and he's visibly nerdy, too.

He has tattoos of Merlin and a spooky skeleton jester.

duncan_tattoos


15. He can fight an elderly person and still seem charming.


16. David Robinson taught him the right way to shave.


17. He baits teammates into Red Wedding-esque paintball ambushes.

And then poses for photos with people who are not, and will never be, his teammates.

tim-duncan-paintball


18. Whales.

Of course the native of St. Croix, who at one point thought about becoming an Olympic swimmer, has a special bond with marine mammals.

whaleduncan

via Deadspin

Mark Langford People Portfolio

via Mark Langford


19. Twitter has his back.


20. He said some really nice things to LeBron after crushing him in the 2007 Finals.


21. In 2006, he paid Brent Barry $100 to kiss David Stern.

At the ring ceremony honoring the Spurs’ 2005 championship, a deal was made between Barry and Duncan that if Barry kissed the commissioner on the cheek, Duncan would give him a hundred bucks. And sure enough, both men lived up to their ends of the bargain.


22. He inspires the absolute best Onion headlines.

duncan_onion

With 32 Duncan-related articles to date, some of The Onion’s best work has involved skewering the big man for his good citizenship. Some of the shinier gems include Tim Duncan Hams It Up For Crowd By Arching Left Eyebrow Slightly, Tim Duncan Sends Teammates Google+ Invitations For Fifth Consecutive Day, Tim Duncan Delivers Heartfelt Speech On Fiscal Responsibility During Spurs Victory Celebration, and Tim Duncan Announces Shoe Deal With Florsheim.


23. Though he’s a 37-year-old, 14-time All-Star with an all-time-great NBA resume that includes four championships and two MVP awards, he’s only just now realizing he has arms.


More Extra Mustard

Close

To continue enjoying content from the most trusted name is sports, please be sure to update your current bookmark.

Our updated web address is http://www.si.com.

To continue enjoying content from the most trusted name is sports, please be sure to update your current bookmark.

Just follow these 4 easy steps:

  1. Click the Chrome menu on the browser toolbar.
  2. Select Bookmarks.
  3. Select Bookmark manager.
  4. Locate your current Sports Illustrated bookmark, click the Organize menu, then select Edit. You can now easily update the web address of your Sports Illustrated bookmark.

    Our updated web address is http://www.si.com.

To continue enjoying content from the most trusted name is sports, please be sure to update your current bookmark.

Just follow these 2 easy steps:

  1. Click the Safari bookmark manager on the browser toolbar.
  2. This will open the Bookmarks Bar. In the Bookmarks Bar, select your Sports Illustrated bookmark and manually edit the Address field.

    Our updated web address is http://www.si.com.

To continue enjoying content from the most trusted name is sports, please be sure to update your current bookmark.

Just follow these 3 easy steps:

  1. Click the Firefox bookmark manager on the browser toolbar.
  2. Select Show All Bookmarks.
  3. This will open the library window. In the Library window, select your Sports Illustrated bookmark and manually edit the Location field.

    Our updated web address is http://www.si.com.
Don't Show This Again