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"I've Been Telling My Wife For Years Size Doesn't Matter": Coach Goes On Epic Rant

Southern Illinois basketball dropped yet another game Tuesday night to fall to an abysmal 2-8 on the young season. As the video above will prove, the loss to Murray State was clearly too much for SIU head coach Barry Hinson to take.

Hinson's postgame press conference will go down as one of the best coach's rants of all time. We fully expect it to join a SportsCenter Top 10 list soon.

Anyway, stop reading and go watch the clip. The fun part starts around the 1:15 mark. (Stay through the end.)

And just in case you need to see Hinson's words on-screen for the full-effect, we've transcribed -- with some help from our friends at Awful Announcing -- some of the best parts below:

"I've been telling my wife this for years, size doesn't matter." ... He was talking rebounds, but still

"Our guards are awful. Our three starting guards had one assist and seven turnovers. They must think it's a tax credit. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE HOW OUR STARTING GUARDS PLAYED. "

"My wife...MY WIFE...can score more than two buckets on 11 shots because I KNOW my wife will AT LEAST SHOT FAKE one time."

"There was a sniper in the gym. Didn't you see that? We had guys falling down. We had a guy snipered at half-court. Two guys snipered at half-court. It was unbelievable. I would've thought Navy Seal Team 6 was out there."

"I mean, you saw how we turned the ball over. We made three turnovers tonight where we just came down and threw them the ball. I swear, I thought one time that one of our players said, 'Merry Christmas.' I thought it was a gift. I thought they signed the package over."

Update: Hinson has since gone on the Dan Patrick Show, in which he apologized for calling out Marcus Fillyaw by name, but otherwise stood by everything.

[Awful Announcing]

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