Brendan Maloy
Tuesday July 12th, 2016

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The day after the MLB All-Star Game is dreaded by sports fans. It’s the only day of the year featuring no major professional or college sporting events, which means you may have to watch the news or have a non-sports based conversation with friends or co-workers.

Here at Extra Mustard we are doing everything we can to help you avoid that awfulness by scouring the TV schedule to find you some athletic competitions to stare at and ease your troubled mind.

So strap in and get ready to scrape the bottom of the sporting barrel. It may not be ideal but it is better than calling your family.

6 a.m.

OK, you are awake, so that is good. Make some eggs and thank your lucky stars, as there is actually a compelling live sporting event on Fox Sports 2. The State of Origin pits New South Wales against Queensland in the rubber match of the series that is among Australia’s most popular sporting events. Starting your day off with rugby violence is scientifically proven to improve focus throughout the day (Editor’s note: This is not true).

9 a.m.

Every Wednesday, I find myself craving some late 80’s SEC football action, and luckily ESPN Classic will scratch that itch with the 1987 clash between LSU and Florida. Watch a young Emmitt Smith go up against a strong Tigers defense as you think about what you are going to have for lunch.

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10:30 a.m.

Bail early on the classic college football (LSU wins 13-10, you’re welcome), and head over to NBA TV to catch a replay of Philadelphia taking on Golden State in Summer League. Everyone is buzzing about the new look Warriors and now you can get an early look at some rookies who will probably not crack the rotation during the regular season.

12:30 p.m.

More live sports! Stay put on NBA TV as the Sparks head to Chicago to take on the Sky in a midseason WNBA contest. 

2:30 p.m.

Did you know Ricky Williams enjoys marijuana? Well he does, and you can learn all about it in the excellent new SI documentary Ricky Williams takes the High Road (“High” is a popular slang term to indicate you are intoxicated on marijuana, in case you did not catch that pun). 

3 p.m. 

The real beauty of baseball is in the little details, and can any of us claim to really catch them all on first viewing? Of course not, so rewatch the All-Star Game again on the MLB Network. Rewatching a baseball game that doesn’t count may seem tedious, but when you remember your other options are paying bills or trying to understand an article about the UK’s new prime minister, it sound a lot more appealing.

Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

5 p.m.

At 5 p.m., ESPN’s ESPY Countdown show begins. No matter how bored you are, this is not going to be worth watching. Odell Beckham is wearing something crazy. Several athletes look wonderful in gowns or suits. You get it. Take a 30–minute nap and then turn on ESPN 3, where you can watch the Calgary Stampede Rodeo.

7 p.m.

The rodeo can be an intense experience, so relax for a few hours with the slightly slower pace of competitive softball as the NPF’s Dallas Charge take on the USSSA Pride. USSSA stands for United States Specialty Sports Association, by the way, and not United States Super Softball America, which was my first guess.

9 p.m. 

OK, you are getting tired now and also missing good old fashioned “major” pro sports. While there isn’t much of that to be had, you can watch UFC Fight Night: McDonald vs. Lineker. UFC just got bought for $4 billion dollars, so see for yourself if it was worth all of that. As a bonus, someone may get kicked in the neck.


You should maybe go to bed now. You have been watching weird sports all day, so you are probably going to have some peculiar dreams. Maybe have a nice glass of warm milk before you lay down. Or watch some NBA Summer League highlights. 

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