Tuesday August 23rd, 2016

What happens when a very unique name and a Starbucks barista collide? Catastrophe.

Redskins second round pick Su’a Cravens had his name butchered so badly at a D.C. Starbucks recently that he decided, You know what, screw this. I’m never using my first name again.

He ordered a drink, gave the barista his name, and then waited patiently as it was prepared. When it was ready, the barista called out, “Sewer.” Sewer! To make matters worse, they spelled his name “Suwqua” on the cup.

Here’s the scoop, from CSN Mid-Atlantic:

“I go to Starbucks every Sunday and order my white chocolate mocha. Venti. I don’t tell them my real name because the last time I told Starbucks my real name they spelled it Suwqua,” Cravens said in an interview with CSN. “She spells it like that and then when my name comes she goes ‘Sewer.’”

After a few weeks of hearing his name mangled, Cravens came up with a new strategy.

“From now on, I just put Chris,” Cravens said. “‘White chocolate mocha for Chris?’ This guy right here.”

What a shame. This poor kid’s just trying to get his feet underneath him in a new city, and now he has to change his name. You know where they’re not gonna butcher your name, Su’a? Literally any other coffee shop. Just go somewhere else.

– Kenny Ducey

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