The updated Power Rankings arrive on Wednesday. But first, the Sour Rankings take a spin through the worst of the past week in the NFL …
10. Cam Newton vs. Ed Hochuli
Hochuli's explanation, according to Newton: “The response that I got was, ‘Cam, you're not old enough to get that call.’ I'm looking at him like, what? ... I didn't think you had to have seniority to get a personal foul or anything like that.”
The NFL probably will have a word with Hochuli this week, just to get his side of the story. Newton's version does not paint too professional a picture of the NFL's most recognizable referee.
9. High five! ... Psych!
Have to look quickly to see this one. Keep an eye on the Cardinals fan in the white, Bruce Arians-style driving cap.
8. Nate Washington loses the ball
Last week's Sour Rankings featured New Orleans cornerback Delvin Breaux look aimlessly up at the Superdome roof for a pass that already had sailed over his head. This week, we have the veteran Texans receiver briefly forgetting that Ryan Mallett might want to throw him the ball.
7. Bears fans in Seattle
Credit to any Chicago diehards who made the trip to CenturyLink Field, but they had to know their Bears—with Jimmy Clausen at quarterback—were in for a rough day. The 26–0 loss was still too much to ... oops, wasn't trying to make a “bear” pun there...
CBS's cameras also managed to find this guy toward the end of the game, shaking his head and laughing as Seattle challenged for a fumble recovery and touchdown that would have made it 32–0.
6. Warren Buffett vs. a Cardinals fan: Who wore it better?
5. Summing up the mood in Miami
The Dolphins were supposed to contend for an AFC East title (or at least a wild-card spot) this season. They still have time to do so, but three weeks in, and especially after the 41–14 thrashing they took from the Bills in their home opener on Sunday, this is shaping up to be another lost year.
Which makes it hard to blame the Miami fans for losing some patience, demonstrated in this video by a woman flippin' the double bird at a CBS camera. (Vine not included because we're keeping this post PG.)
If the Rams were looking for a good omen prior to their game with Pittsburgh on Sunday, this probably was not it ...
Fortunately, no one was injured when the field caught fire during this pregame mishap. The start of the game was delayed for several minutes, though, while the stadium crew tried to repair the damage using all measures available—a rake, a vacuum ... and their feet, apparently.
The Cardinals' offensive lineman returned Sunday after serving a two-game suspension. We knew that he received that two-game suspension for violating the league's substance abuse policy. We did not know the bizarre circumstances leading to that suspension until a report from ESPN's Adam Schefter on Sunday.
According to Schefter, Massie had a few too many drinks on Jan. 31 and decided to sleep it off parked at the Cardinals' training facility. Only “a team security guard did not recognize the car and called the police, who arrived and wound up arresting Massie on two DUI charges.”
Also, congrats to the Cardinals for a record three appearances on this week's Sour Rankings. They're leading more than just the NFC West standings.
2. The Titans' two-point attempt
Marcus Mariota did throw two interceptions Sunday, but he also ripped off 367 yards through the air against the Colts, including a late touchdown drive with his team down eight. On a potential game-tying two-point conversion attempt from the Colts' 1, though, the Titans took the ball out of Mariota's hands and handed it to fullback Jalston Fowler.
Fowler was stuffed at the line, reversed course while running back in the direction of midfield, nearly lateraled to Mariota, then was taken down at the 16. Sadly, he also injured his knee in the process.
The debacle of a two-point attempt actually was Tennessee's second try at it. The Titans had thrown on their first, drawing a pass interference call in the end zone.
1. Brandon Marshall's lateral
Marshall himself called it “probably [the] worst play in NFL history,” per ESPN.com. Not sure it was quite that bad, but it was pretty terrible. As he was being tackled after a 15-yard reception, Marshall tried to flip the ball to his nearby teammate. It never made it there.