It was one month ago that we, your humble Cauldron content gnomes, offered you a merciful alternative to the Democratic debate. We did it because we love you.
So when the Republicans kicked off their tri-monthly squawk circus over at Fox Business Network Tuesday night, we already had a plan in the works. This time, we've partnered with our friends at the Benstonium News Network to give you exclusive access to the first-ever NBA debate.
From supporting the world's professional actors to raising America's ceilings (not the debt ceiling—all of them), what follows are the weirdest, most destructive policies this side of the NCAA.
Let's meet the candidates!