'Bama, Oregon maintain top spots, but BCS rankings debate continues

The computer ranking created by Jeff Anderson and Chris Hester has been part of the BCS formula since the beginning, and it is touted as a measure of what teams have accomplished this season absent any preseason bias. That's a lofty -- yet noble -- goal. I have only one question.

How exactly does a triple-overtime win against a team that lost to Youngstown State allow Notre Dame to jump over Kansas State, which won by two touchdowns against a pretty good team from the league Anderson and Hester consider the second-strongest in the nation?

Alas, Anderson and Hester don't reveal their formula to the public. Who needs accountability? Certainly not people who help decide how millions of dollars flow among mostly public universities. I have some guesses at how the Fighting Irish ended up No. 1 in those rankings this week, though.

GHPQ: This Gold Helmet Paint Quotient measures the amount of gold paint in the helmets of each team on the field. By upping the brightness of their own lids and by playing Navy, Purdue and Pittsburgh, the Irish have pushed their GHPQ to absurd levels.

NBCR: The NBC Ratio measures the number of games broadcast by NBC. Anderson and Hester were huge Blossom fans, and they paid tribute to their favorite show by ensuring teams that played on the network that introduced us to Jenna von Oy would receive a critical bump.

BOF: The Box Office Factor measures how much movies about a particular school's football program have grossed -- domestic and foreign -- and provides a rankings bounce for the biggest moneymakers. This also explains why fictional Eastern State University always winds up in the Anderson and Hester rankings.

OK, I made all that up. In fact, the leap isn't as sinister as it sounds when you look at the rankings. Notre Dame is separated from Kansas State and Alabama by an eyelash. Still, it's tough to take a ranking seriously when barely surviving Pittsburgh vaults a team over one that clubbed Oklahoma State.

The BCS can't go away soon enough.

NCAA Football Power Rankings

Next five: West Virginia, Oklahoma State, Northwestern, Toledo, Northern Illinois

Andy Staples' Power Rankings also serve as his ballot in the Associated Press Top 25 poll.