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Who would win the Super Bowl if it weren't based on football?

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The question of who is going to win the Super Bowl is often rooted in analyzing things like "strategy" and "talent." But what if that weren't the case? What if the Super Bowl were determined by... nearly everything else except what actually takes place on the field on Sunday? Here's who would win the Super Bowl if the Lombardi Trophy winner were decided by factors ranging from best facial hair to best post-game press conferences.

. Facial Hair

Winner - The Pittsburgh Steelers

Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Houston Texans and Eric Weddle of the San Diego Chargers may make this one a contest but as long as Brett Keisel is in the league, no one touches The Beard.

. Uniforms

Winner - The Cleveland Browns

. Uniforms

Winner - The Cleveland Browns

. Endzone Celebrations

Winner - The New York Giants

The pickings are slim now because the NFL hates fun. Cam's "Superman" is a strong candidate and the (overly celebrated) Lambeau Leap has history behind it, but Victor Cruz's salsa dance is fun and a bit silly - qualities which any NFL game could use.

. Sideline Entertainment

Winner - The San Francisco 49ers

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. Sideline Entertainment

Winner - The San Francisco 49ers

. Fan Base

Winner - The Jacksonville Jaguars

Let the few die-hard Jaguars fans on the planet have something. If you've stuck with the Jaguars this long, you deserve some sort of recognition.

. Television Commercials

Winner - The Denver Broncos

. Television Commercials

Winner - The Denver Broncos

. Post-Game Press Conferences

Winner - The New England Patriots

Bill Belichick. Forever and ever.

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Ryan Wong is a writer for Next Impulse Sports