Gregory Shamus/Getty Images, Illustration: Brendan Maloy

Extra Mustard’s Thursday Night Football drinking game for Week 14.

By Rohan Nadkarni, Brendan Maloy, Dan Gartland, and Jeremy Woo
December 10, 2015

Welcome to the latest installment of Extra Mustard’s Thursday Night Football drinking game. Week 14 features the yeah-but-are-we-sure-they’re-good Arizona Cardinals and the briefly relevant Minnesota Vikings. The Cardinals could win the Super Bowl and still be considered the second-best team in their division. The Vikings were almost going to overtake the Packers for good then remembered they were the Vikings.

This game will probably not be good. You won’t take Carson Palmer seriously because he is so old. You won’t take Teddy Bridgewater seriously because he wears gloves. Fortunately, our drinking game always means business. 

Responsibly sip your drink when

You say the words “Matt Asiata” or “Captain Munnerlyn” out loud

You google the University of Phoenix

You confuse Cardinals receivers John and Jaron Brown

You hear the word “rejuvenated” in the same sentence as Carson Palmer

The announcers talk about the removable field

The announcers discuss how much Bruce Arians loves throwing deep

Adrian Peterson runs over a defender

Mike Zimmer looks angry

Responsibly sip your drink twice when

A glimpse of the division standings makes you question how closely you follow the NFL

Call your parents and tell them you love them when

You wonder if Hans and Mike Zimmer are related

You wonder if Carson and Jesse Palmer are related

You wonder if David and Chris Johnson are related

You wonder if John and Jaron Brown are related

Finish your drink if

You wonder if real Vikings ever played football

You flip over to Michael Bublé’s Christmas special




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